awe , I saw how the sun seemingly began to mesh its corpulent circular body on the palm bedded tree tops , as its once orange glare reflecting to the skies shifted to a sapphire hue that spread faster than the blink of my eye . It was such a mesmerizing display that I lost track of the water ’ s flow , almost submerging my upper body into an icy current alien to the season . Soon enough some shivering shout awoke me to the waves that had now broken the stillness of the blackish sea . It didn ’ t seem to be a good set , but at least it was something . So I quickly lay down and went from the sun to the waves . Their crests warned me of their growing size . It was then that I saw her . She struck me as extraordinary , more so when she seemed to call for me . And so , like a fish to the hook or the algae to my foot , I ventured beyond my comfort . Strongly paddling against a growing current that at times pushed me back and then drew me closer . Avoiding the rest of the waves and their apparent charm , I passed them with respectful regret . I ’ m sorry , I thought , but there is simply one that ’ s calling for me . Whether it was destiny , fate , luck or a mere coincidence I dared not question , for I was simply focused on the matter at hand . I recall now that I faced that moment unconsciously , being driven by something bigger than myself . Shifting my thought abruptly to someone bigger than me . It didn ’ t matter then and neither does it now . Because I was then approaching the moment , I ’ d turned around and instead of chasing I began to be chased . Actually , we were both going in the same direction , not chasing each other . Going to the same point , towards the same objective . A moment , perhaps , always a bit further off than we were , up to the point where it ceased to be . It happens to me almost every time . And it ’ s what makes me go through this life , it ’ s that drive that shoots me forward in an almost endless search , and once I find it I realize it ’ s already happened , and so I have nothing more to do but to go at it again . As an endless cycle . On and on , just like the waves of the sea .
41
Dear No One Anymore
Mariam Yaldayi
Dear no one anymore,
I heard you ached to find genuine happiness. That you couldn’t wait
until you did. The promise of the untold possibilities and endless shapes
and forms it would take, meant the world to you. I also heard that you
dreamt of the nights, where you’d finally be free to choose people over
rain. Because the unceasing droplets of water causing a pitter patter sound
on your window ledge reminded you of all you wanted to forget, and the
people, well the people gave you a new sense of hope.
I don’t know precisely when but someone once told me that you
constantly asked yourself what the meaning of life was. I can’t imagine
anyone not ever questioning that same thought. But I heard, that you went
beyond that simple question that lurks behind in the back of all of our
minds. That your mind became enthralled with deciphering the abyss of
confusion your brain inevitably, almost as if on schedule, always seemed
to lead you to.
Then it came to my attention that you constantly questioned whether
or not you were beautiful. Whether or not you were worth it. Worth every
simple smile across a hallway. Worth the very unique daffodils I placed on
your desk the morning after your boss reprimanded you for not turning
in a report on time. W �'F�F�RfVVƖ�r�bג6�������W'2�WfV�v�'F��F�RW&�2V�&V6�v旦&�Rg&��F�7F�6RW�R6��F7B�6�Vv�Bf�"���P�v��FW&VB�'WBF�Bv2�B���R��ǒWfW"v��FW&VBࠐ�����r���R�bF��2���F���r�w&�FR��r6�6��vRv�B�0��V�VB�F�B���R�bF��2v���'&��r��R&6�F�ƖfR�'WB�6���ǒv�6��F�B�B6�V�B�F�B��Bw&�GFV�F��26�W�R�b�V'2����F�2�WfV�vVV�0�V&ƖW"��F�R��W2F�B�Bv�V�B�fR&V6�VB��W"W�W2�B��W"WfW �6�v��FW&��r֖�B6��V��r���7FVB�����rF�W6Rv�&G2�F��2W"��F��2��v���&Rv6�VBv�'�F�RG&��WG2F�B��r6W6R�RF��V"�6�֖�"�GFW"GFW"6�V�B�����r�Bv���&RGW&�VBF�6�W2��B'�F�Vऒ6���ǒ��R��6R��&RF�B6��V��r��W"VvW"6�V��27F���v�6���r��6���r�v��FW&��rv�B6�V�B�fR&VV�ࣃ ���6VR�b��Bw&�GFV�F��26�W�R�b�V'2����F�2WfV�vVV�2V&ƖW"���v�V�B�fR&VV�&�RF�FV����RWfW'�F���r�F��Vv�B��v�V�B�fRF��@���RF�B�v22VvW"F�&�f�FR��Rv�F�F�RV�F��B�76�&�ƗF�W2�@�V�F�W726�W2�Bf�&�2�b���W72�2��RvW&RVvW"F�f��BF�V����v�V�B�fRF��B��RF�BF�R�V��r�b��W"ƖfRv2v�F��7V'7F�F���F�6���WFVǒ6��&V�V�B�'WBF�BW&�2'B�b�Bv2F��VWB�@�v�F�֖�R��v�V�B�fR�WB��R���rF�Bv�V��B6�RF��R���RvW&P��v�2v�'F��B�v�'F�7F�F��r&�V�Bf�"��W'2��F�6VR��R7&�72����v�F��V�B��R6��f�'F��r6֖�R�v�'F�v���rF�F�Bf��vW"7F�&P���F�R�F�W"6�FR�bF�v�F�f��B��RF�RW&fV7B&�WVWB�v�'F�WfW'��7F��V�F�V6��BWfW'�FV"6W6��r֖�WFR�&V���VBV�&Ɩ涖�rv�6���p���W"6�gB��V�W�W2�WB֖�Rࠐ���V&B��R6�VBF�f��BvV�V��R���W72�'WB��V&B�B��RvVV��F���FR��"V�6R�v�V�B�fRF��B��R��B�&VG�f�V�B�B�����Rࠐ��������fR��R�v�2גFV&W7Bࣃ0