Sin Fronteras Spring 2017 Sin Fronteras Spring 2017 | Page 10

the opportunities that I have or are not fortunate enough to get to the place
where I am or will be. Why? Why should any other human being not have the
opportunity to make her life what she wanted? My body started shivering
and my legs felt weak, now that I was out on a cold summer night. Is it
because of where they live? Is it because of how they look? Is it because of who
they are the legacy of? At this point my thoughts were rushing through my
mind and I almost couldn’t hear them. I sat on the dusty concrete surface of
the rooftop with my hands over my head. Is it just the way the world works?
Some people get to have and some don’t? I stopped thinking for a moment
to realize the conclusion I just bumped into. It’s just the way the world
works. I can’t stop it. I’m just someone on a rooftop who can’t have control
over anything but her own decisions. Just after this thought, I collapsed to
the ground, my arms and legs spread as if I was lying in snow, about to
create a snow angel. I took a deep breath, full of exhaustion.

I have no control. I can’t change anything. I have power that accomplishes
nothing but moving myself forward. In this moment my mind was drained
of any idea and as I understood my fast thinking, I raised my torso and put
my hands on the floor as support. I can’t actually do anything. No one is
going to take the opinion of someone like me as valid. I have everything. They
are going to think I’m just “spoiled” or “sassy” or “spicy” for saying things like
“same chances for everyone”. Who is going to take me seriously?

I made myself conscious of what my mind and body had just been
through. I realized these thoughts were worthless of my time, for there was
nothing I could do to change them. This reflection was just for myself and
my understanding of me as a person living in the world. My body begged
for rest so I took the ladder down off the roof and closed the window as I
stepped into my room. Ugh. I closed the blinds shut, and cuddle between
the warm blankets on my bed. Finally, I breath in and as I exhale, I let my
body become unconscious, ignoring the fact of waking up again.
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