A Seventeen Year Old Boy who Dosn't Know What He's Doing and is Stuck in Puragtory Explains Role Models to Us
"Jacob Yoder is a 17 year old kid who recently moved from California to Texas. He doesn't know what his plan in life is and he feels like he is stuck in purgatory because all he does is wait. His influences range from Bukowski to Raymond Chandler to Quentin Tarantino." - The Zac Efron lookalike, who runs on junkie time and probably was an asshole to his new neighbor in Texas, himself.
9
Role Models
i have a brother who is
eight years younger than
me and he believes
i am the greatest thing
on this earth.
he draws a cross on
his left knuckle
and
an anchor on
his right calf,
just like the
tattoos i scarred
myself with.
i left him
five years ago
with
a mom who hit him
a dad who always worked
and a sister who was a selfish cunt
this kid?s reality is
so fucking skewed
due to all of the
fighting and
yelling and
leaving from
all sides
that all he has is
videogames
because it is
too hot to go outside
and he?s
too poor to do anything else.
so there he sits
days fade to night
as he absorbs himself in this
alternate reality
because it?s the only stable thing
in his life.
in reality you can?t be
adventuring
fighting
dying
reviving
conquering
building
destroying.
so he burrows himself
in his dark room,
growing fat as
the sun falls onto the plains
the sparrows fly north
and
the dog howl louder than
the madness of existing.
now i?ve returned to
the land of the
cold houses
and
hot sidewalks.
the more time i spend with him
the more i see how much like
his dad
his mother
his sister
he is.
i see the little
things he picks up from
me and
it saddens me.
i?m no man?s role model.
all i want to do is grab him
and tell him
?Go outside!
Have a fight!
Read a book!
Create a painting!
Meet a girl!
Break a bone!
Make a friend!
Skip a stone!
anything but
sit upstairs in
a house full of
people who do nothing
but push each other off
the life raft
as the ship sinks.
get out of here
and don?t look back.?
you know,
maybe i do want
him to look up to me
because everyone looks
past the flaws of
their idols.
tattoos i scarred
myself with.
i left him
five years ago
with
a mom who hit him
a dad who always worked
and a sister who was a selfish cunt
this kid?s reality is
so fucking skewed
due to all of the
fighting and
yelling and
leaving from
all sides
that all he has is
videogames
because it is
too hot to go outside
and he?s
too poor to do anything else.
so there he sits
days fade to night
as he absorbs himself in this
alternate reality
because it?s the only stable thing
in his life.
in reality you can?t be
adventuring
fighting
dying
reviving
conquering
building
destroying.
so he burrows himself
in his dark room,
growing fat as
the sun falls onto the plains
the sparrows fly north
and
the dog howl louder than
the madness of existing.
now i?ve returned to
the land of the
cold houses
and
hot sidewalks.
the more time i spend with him
the more i see how much like
his dad
his mother
his sister
he is.
i see the little
things he picks up from
me and
it saddens me.
i?m no man?s role model.
all i want to do is grab him
and tell him
?Go outside!
Have a fight!
Read a book!
Create a painting!
Meet a girl!
Break a bone!
Make a friend!
Skip a stone!
anything but
sit upstairs in
a house full of
people who do nothing
due to all of the
fighting and
yelling and
leaving from
all sides
that all he has is
videogames
because it is
too hot to go outside
and he's
too poor to do anything else.
so there he sits
days fade to night
as he absorbs himself in this
alternate reality
because it?s the only stable thing
in his life.
in reality you can?t be
adventuring
fighting
dying
reviving
conquering
building
destroying.
so he burrows himself
in his dark room,