H O W
H
T O
I S S U E
OW TO
A
H
T H E
P I T C
by m at g o f f
FOOD & DRINK BADGE
The all night pitch army definitely
marches on its stomach. And until
OW TO
H
recently that meant spinning the
roulette wheel of dysentery that
was Deliverance. But now we have
Deliveroo, who have thankfully
changed the face of the office
m i d n i g h t f e a s t f o r e v e r. S h e w a n t s
N a n d o s? D o n e. H e wa n t s s u s h i ?
Done. So get that app all set up
S U RV I VE A P I TC H?
o n y o u r p h o n e a n d b e t h e p r o v i d e r.
T H E R E ’S YO U R F I R S T M I S TA K E.
that calories are calories regardless
And when ordering, remember
of w h o’s p ay i n g t h e b i l l .
M O T I VAT O R B A D G E
I t ’s j u s t a b o u t p o s s i b l e t h a t a t
some point in the night either
A s fo r b o oz i n g , we l l , t h a t ’s u p
you or one of your team might
to you. But remember that whilst
begin to question why you
liberating a bottle of Shiraz
h ave g i ve n u p a n i g h t ’s s l e e p
from the work bar is a tempting
to do far more than survive to
to work on this pitch. It may
distraction, alcohol is a natural
well coincide with the moment
make being up all night worthwhile.
sedative and will catch up with
that you realise that winning
you at some point. Snoring
it will actually only mean
loudly at your desk will not get
more work for you to do in the
the job done.
long run. So when motivation
The competitive nature of this
industry means you’re going to need
And that means, like all good Cub
Scouts, you’ve got to Be Prepared.
So here’re the badges you need
to survive and thrive in the all night
pitch arena and make sure
y o u c o m e u p s m i l i n g o n p i t c h d a y.
star ts to wane, pick yourself
u p b y w a t c h i n g J i m Te l f e r g e e
u p t h e ’ 9 7 L i o n s o n Yo u Tu b e .
T h i s , t h i s p i t c h , t h i s n i g h t ’s
w o r k : T h i s I s Yo u r E v e r e s t .
And when you’ve watched it,
b e J i m Te l f e r f o r y o u r t e a m
around you.
M O D E R ATO R B A D G E
I t ’s a l s o p o s s i b l e t h a t a s d a r k n e s s
sets in, not everyone will always
see eye to ever-reddening-eye.
A fast-approaching pitch and
increasing exhaustion levels can
surface creative differences and
disagreements that you didn’t see
coming. Be ready to play the Ban
Ki-moon role and bring warring
factions back around the table.
The sooner everyone is back in
the boat, the sooner you can get
some shut-eye.