I lost sight of my importance. I forgot
that I mattered. It’s easy to disregard
yourself when you feel neglected. Yes,
I went through the motions of every-
day living, but there was no joy or
abundant living
1. Acknowledge, accept and appreciate your feelings. I did not
tell any of my colleagues when the separation in my marriage took
place. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I did not want
anyone to join my pity party. I wanted to live in my feelings for as
long as I needed.
Separation and divorce is like death and I needed to grieve alone.
I gave myself the space to move through each emotional phase
and there was no outside interference. I called each feeling by
name and tried to make sure that my responses to others weren’t
clouded by how I felt that day. I did a lot of journaling and I even
made an “altar box,” which is a place where I physically put an
emotion on the altar and refused to allow myself to take it back.
I turned over each feeling to God and allowed Him to heal me one
emotion at a time.
2. Fill your space with powerful words. I listened to a lot of music
during this time. Not all of it was praise and worship. I listened
to alot of Mary J. Blige during this time…a lot!!! But it confirmed
that words have power. I began to sing some of those lyrics
repeatedly. No More Drama, Real Love, Love No Limit, so many
of her songs were on repeat. And then there was Mary Mary with
Yesterday, In the Morning and Shackles. The point is to fill your
spirit with words that will move you out or keep you out of a
funk. Of course, I read the Word of God and quoted scripture. I
said affirmations, but music is different. It has a different impact.
Those words, which I could repeat to myself, helped reaffirm my
essentialism within my h eart and mind.
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