She Magazine FEBRUARY 2016 | Page 88

Drea Frondorf staff writer will YOU be my Valentine? I REMEMBER POOR CHARLIE BROWN’S disappointment on Valentine’s Day as he longed for the 88 and love is the relationship we have with ourselves. To set things to make me feel happy and loved. However, I also the record straight, I believe the ultimate relationship that realize at the end of the day, if I feel fulfilled, it’s because I matters is the one we each have with God, and in that, our made some choices to follow where God led me and enjoyed relationship with ourself is unified. Then we have so much the people and friendships He placed on that journey with more to really give to others. me. little red-haired girl’s affection that didn’t get reciprocated. I have to laugh at the fact that I grew up believing in the You may often hear me say I’m planning a “Drea date He craved the idea of having a Valentine and believed this princesses of Disney, fantasizing that one day my prince night.” I do. I joke about it often, but then you will soon learn “love” would make all things better in life, then felt the vast would sweep me off my feet and love me no matter what I am serious. Movies, popcorn, a drive with the windows downfall of discontent when it wasn’t there. How many of and we’d live happily ever after. Boy, was I disillusioned down and the music up…whatever I am in the mood for. I us can honestly say that we’ve been there, too? I’ve been when that didn’t go as planned. Even after broken hearts have come to a place of cherishing my alone time. There is a there, done that, and I personally think I have a closet full of and disillusioned expectations, I still believe in love, but not huge difference between being alone and being lonely, too. t-shirts for that one! unrealistic fantasies with lofty pressures. I believe in love It’s a mindset. I’m not often lonely; I surround myself with Our culture idealizes “love” relationships as a cure-all for that enhances each other because each person comes to people I love who encourage me, love me, bring value to me, life’s problems, or the “end-all” of how a happily-ever-after the relationship looking to share and enjoy, not pressure to make me laugh and help make my life fulfilling. I love my life story should be. But what about all the single ladies and men fulfill and complete the other. and all that encompasses it. I try not to dwell on the nega- out there? Does that mean we shouldn’t expect our happi- If I ever have that one man in my life that shares the jour- tives and always look for the silver lining. I’ve learned not ly-ever-after, too? Is that supposed to be our ultimate goal ney of living our lives together, great! If I don’t and I remain to ask “Why?” so much anymore, but “Why not?” or “What in life or we don’t win the prize of real happiness? NO WAY! single sharing the journey of my life with friends, family and instead?” I’m not knocking true love; when I’ve been blessed enough God, great! Either way, my happiness factor is not going to Strengthening love and relationships is an adventure to have it, it is magnificent. I’ve come to learn through the plummet. We were designed for relationship, and I think worth pursuing in life. We live, we learn, we hopefully grow years, though, that there are many ways to experience love sometimes we forget that it means with ourselves, too. If and change because of them, and we discover new things in that can be just as or even more fulfilling. we’re looking for the world and its people to fulfill our great- each new person as well as in ourselves. I have lived the mar- Healthy relationships, in general, can and do fulfill our est desires, we’re looking for disappointment. I believe that ried life and I am living the single life; in each, I have learned heart’s desires. We can experience many of life’s greatest it’s only with God that our greatest desires can be achieved. a lot about who I am, what I want and how to love in deeper blessings from them. Sharing respect, trust, commitment, Happiness and fulfillment come from the inside out, ways with all relationships. It’s giving and taking, forgiving open and honest communication, fun, laughter, ambitions, whether you’re married or single. To place that pressure on and trusting, and finding that “in love” or “out of love,” life is goals, love and friendship in any relationship enhances our another person to try to fulfill that within you, that you can fulfilling. Do I hope I find someone one day to share my life lives. Good relationships create happiness. But the one re- only fulfill yourself, isn’t fai r. I believe it’s up to me to make with romantically, too? Of course! But if not, I do love the life lationship that deserves and requires much attention, time me happy! Don’t misunderstand me, I love when people do I’m in. My wish is that YOU have that love, too! FEBRUARY 2016 SHEMAGAZINE.COM