what I did. I gave everything,
including the money I needed to
take the bus home.
After the meeting I told no one
what I did or about my lacking the
means to get home but instead
walked confidently to the bus
station. I lived many miles away so
walking home was out the question.
I was convinced God would cause
a friend to drive by, recognise me
standing at the bus stop and offer
me a ride home or something like
that. I waited until the final bus for
the night pulled up. This was my
last hope of getting home and not
sleeping on the streets of one of
the most dangerous cities in the
world. Oh, and we had no mobile/
cell phones back then so I couldn’t
at this time just ring up a friend.
And why would I, seeing I was so
confident that God would provide.
I jumped onto this bus thinking
maybe it’s here that God will work
His miracle and maybe let some
stranger for no foreseen reason
offer to pay my way or something
similar. I thought of the great
testimony I would have to tell the
following day, of how God provided
because I trusted Him. One was not
required to pay as you entered but
would get seated and wait for the
conductor to get to you so I took a
seat and waited as the bus sped on
its way in the direction of my home.
The conductor began to collect
fairs at the front of the bus and I was
a little way down so I watched and
waited as he drew closer to me.
By this time I began to feel a bit
uncomfortable as I wondered why
God was delayin g. I heard people
speak of how God would wait until
the nick of time before He acted,
maybe this was one such time.
The conductor was now at the row
before mine and I am sweating like
crazy. “God act now, act now!” I
prayed frantically. The conductor
now turned to me and asked for my
fare. “I have none”, I said to him
honestly. My answer made him very
upset and asked me why I got onto
the bus knowing I had no means to
pay. With that he asked the driver to
stop and ordered me off. Everyone
stared at me as I hung my head in
shame and exited the bus. It was
dark, lonely and cold but by this
time I was at least two thirds of the
way home so I walked the rest of
the way. I was terribly embarrassed.
Now you can understand, when I say
I have trust issues. How can I trust a
God who failed and embarrassed
me so terribly? Or maybe the
question I should first ask is, “Did
God fail me or was it the teachings
of men that failed me?”
After years of contemplating my
unfortunate experience I have now
concluded that it was not God who
failed me. I failed myself by blindly
following what men taught. Greedy,
insincere men who cared nothing of
the flock. Men who misrepresented
God by teaching heresies as a
means to their own ends. They tell
us to give, give, give and not to the
poor as the Bible teaches but to
their ministry or Church. Our giving
only results in them enlarging their
material heaven down here.
We are living in a time when people
cannot be trusted and more so
now than maybe any other time
in history. It is common place
for
manufacturers,
advertising
agencies, politicians, employers
and now preachers to promise what
they do not intend to or cannot
deliver. I was recently speaking to
a childhood friend of mine who is
now a pastor in another country
when he admitted that he trusts no
one. He was not here speaking of
the ungodly but of fellow ministers
and Christians that he deals with on
a daily basis who lack integrity.
Yes, I have trust issues and no
doubt you have too. It’s the time for
it (See 2 Timothy 3:1-9). I am sure
you have at some time or the other
experienced hurt caused by the
deception of others you trusted.
However, while we may have issues
trusting men we cannot allow such
issues to stop us trusting God.
Don’t take anyone’s word for it but
prove Him for yourself.
Faith is often taught today as
mind over matter endorsed by the
words, ‘you can do it, only believe’.
Faith is not us doing our thing and
expecting God to endorse it but
is relationship based. We believe
in someone whom we happen to
know and trust. The scriptures say,
“Today if you hear His voice harden
not your hearts.” When making
decisions that could have such
negative consequences we MUST
first hear God Himself speak to our
hearts. There is a need, even when
reading or hearing others preach,
for God by His Spirit to speak His
words directly to us. It is the living
word Himself only who has the
ability to work great wonders and it
is in Him alone we have faith.
The key is to not take what man says
about God but to get to know God
for yourself. To know God’s voice we
must grow to know and understand
Him. This cannot be done simply
by listening to preachers or even
reading the Bible. The written Word
all by itself is nothing more than
a dead text on dead paper. We
must spend time with Him in prayer
and meditation in His Word. It is a
most wonderful experience to hear
Him speak, feel His touch and be
bathed in the glory of His presence.
There is a difference between faith
and foolishness. The person who
trust in men will do foolishness and
be ashamed but the person who
grows in relationship and maintains
a close, personal fellowship with
God will know His voice and not
believe false prophets or follow
their own vain imaginations. p
April - June 2017
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