Shaping the Future Shaping the Future digital FINAL X | Page 46

About Sexual Assault
SEXUAL ASSAULT CAN TAKE ON MANY DIFFERENT FORMS,
BUT ONE THING REMAINS THE SAME: IT WAS NOT YOUR
FAULT. Sexual assault takes on many forms including rape
or attempted rape as well as any type of sexual activity or
contact that you do not consent to. Sometimes unwanted
sexual contact can stem from intimidation, bullying or pres-
sure. Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter the
person’s age or gender. When people think of assault, they
often picture a girl as the victim and a guy as the perpetra-
tor; however that is not always the case. Often times boys
and men do not come forward because of the attitudes and
ideas that society tries to portray about men and masculini-
ty and it’s a sad reality that some people do not believe it is
physically possible for a women to assault a man.
Sexual assault is perpetrated at an alarming rate against
teenagers in this country. The perpetrator is 8 OUT OF
10 times more likely to be someone we know. The U.S.
Department of Justice estimates that more than half of all
victims of sexual assault are under the age of 18. The Rape,
Assault & Incest National Network (RAINN) reports that this
happens to 1 in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18
and of that 66% of cases are between the ages of 12 and 17
years old.
Despite the commonality of these cases, both boys and girls
still have trouble getting the help they need to heal from
their traumatic experiences. Teen survivors that do not get
help are more likely to experiences signs of PTSD—every-
thing from avoidance, nightmares, eating disorders, depres-
sion, isolation and self-harm. Teachers, counselors, social
workers, doctors and nurses are all required to report sexual
abuse by law; however, anyone can report sexual abuse by
contacting US Department of Human Services (1-800-422-
4453). They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with
professional crisis counselors who can provide assistance in
170 languages.
The Aftermath of Sexual Trauma
Sexual assault goes far beyond physical hurt. When
someone has gone through something this horrible, it can
Making a Stand
feel like the world around him or her is no longer a safe
place. They are often unable to trust those around them
and sometimes even themselves. Questioning their self-
worth and constantly have flash backs to the event are
common experiences. It is important to remember that
these feelings are completely normal reactions to any
trauma and more importantly, you are not alone in your
feelings.
It is normal for a survivor to experience feelings of de-
pression. It is not a sign of weakness and you should not
feel pressured to “snap out of it”; however, it is a serious
mental health condition and you should seek help for it.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
SUPPORT SURVIVORS
Listen. Often times, survivors feel as if no one will under-
stand them, what they have or are going through. They
might even feel as if they will not be taken seriously. To
combat this, you can give them your complete attention.
If some courageously shares their story with you, simply
say, “I believe you” – and mean it.
Validate their feelings. Avoid phrases like “It will get
better.” Be there for them by telling them directly that
you care about them by saying, “I am here for you” or “I
care about you.”
Do not ask about details of their assault. I know you
might be curious about what happened and might
even need all the details to fully understand it but try
to refrain from doing so. It might have taken all of their
strength just to tell you that something happened and
they might not be ready to talk fully about it. Instead,
wait for them to freely share those private details with
you but also understand he or she may never share it
them.
Provide appropriate resources. Do not just allow what
your friend has told you to remain silent, no matter how
much you promised him or her. Whether it is telling a
trusted adult, a school counselor or providing them with
a number for a hotline. It is your responsibility to assist
your friend in finding help for them.
HOW YOU AS A SURVIVOR CAN HEAL
Understand that you are not alone. You coming forward
not only helps yourself heal from this incredibly hard
event but also might give others the strength to come
forward as well. The more people join the conversation
of sexual assault the more it will give a voice and plat-
form for other survivors to heal.
Seek professional help. Therapy is an open, nonjudg-
mental space that will allow you to work through issues
you might be facing. They are there to be that listening
ear you might need, especially if you do not feel com-
fortable talking about it with others. They can also give
you advice on how you can cope with the event, ways
to deal with it every day and strategies for managing
stress. There might also be group therapy options where
you can get the chance to talk with other survivors. It is
important to note that if you are under 18, they can not
keep sexual assault a secret from your parents; however,
that should not prevent you from getting the help that
you need.
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