Shaping the Future Shaping the Future digital FINAL X | Page 42

K
S
HAPING THE
FUTURE FOR
TEEN SURVIVORS
ARTICLE by PAIGE HATHORN
Photography by TWAJOKU PHOTOGRAPHY
Meet
KORAN
Introducing 1-year-old Youth Farmer Koran. Even though
Koran is successfully shaping the future now, she has
had a tough journey getting here. Growing up, her father
struggled with a cocaine addition and was in and out of
rehab a lot, leaving her mother to support herself and
two kids. Despite her father’s addiction that she often
did not see, he was her superhero.
Seeing her parents struggle has
strengthened Koran’s belief in
keeping her faith as she goes through this
journey called life.
Early Years
In her early life, Koran had two half sisters who she was
not close with at the time, so her mother was her only
real female figure. Koran developed a love for dance at a
young age—from hip-hop to ballet to anything cultural.
Ms. Thomas was her favorite dance teacher because of
her motherly draw, “She taught me how to keep my head
up on and off stage. Middle school wasn’t the best time for
me. I dealt with depression and I was forced to grow up
too quickly but each time I danced, I could express myself
through the movement.” She felt emotions that she could
never voice, “movements of my arms, the rhythm that
flowed to my feet, even to my facial expressions.”
In middle school, Koran would often hide from her
depression and avoid dealing with her low self-esteem.
She desired to speak out but did not have the words or
strength to do so, until she found a new hobby, poetry. “I’d
listen to all types [of poetry]. Not just stereotypical sad
ones, but ones that would make me laugh, think or help
make peace with myself.” The first poem she ever wrote
was about the beauty within herself, both inside and out.
“Writing is my way of being heard today. Things that I can’t
say out loud, flows from my pen to my paper.”
“LIVE
YOUR
BEST
LIFE.”
Face-to-face with Sexual Assault
On April 23, 2018, Koran faced a life-altering situation
that one in three women face in their lifetime: sexual
assault. A classmate assaulted her during school
hours. “I was ashamed because it felt as if every
bit of confidence, self-worth, purpose, and
every bit of joy I had was ripped away in that
instant.” Koran shares her hesitation with
speaking out.
“I didn’t want anyone to know
because the thought of
that happening was
embarrassing.” Her
main purpose of
keeping quiet was she blamed herself, “I did not say no fast
enough and I felt like people were going
to be like ‘well why didn’t you scream?’’ The friend she
confided in convinced her to tell her school’s office and
she wrote a report. At this point she thought the situation
was done with. She had no desire for anyone else to find
out, especially her parents but because she was a minor,
the school had to call her parents and let them know what
had happened to her. Afterwards, when she got on the bus
later that day, she received a call from her parents, “They
started yelling at me saying ‘why did you let him touch
you? Why didn’t you scream? Why didn’t you call us?’ and
that honestly just made me cry harder.”
Discovering her Voice
When Koran went to school the next day she experience
a panic attack, her legs began to shake and she felt pain
in her chest. Her friends asked her what was going on and
she just told them she wanted to go home. Her mother
picked her up and she did not return to school for two
weeks. “I saw multiple people and had to retell the story
over and over again, when I didn’t even want to tell it in
the first place,” Koran says. She went to this one lady who
made her go into extreme details. Koran asked her, “Why
do you want me to keep reliving it?” The lady told her,
“The more you talk about it the more you can find things
that are not necessarily bad but positive to make you feel
better about the situation and to understand that it was
not your fault.” And to Koran, she was right. The more
she chose to share her truth in detail, the more free she
became. Koran chose to continue to speak about the tiny
details like the way the air smelled, the way the stairs felt,
the color of the floor, etc. The more she freed her words,
the greater her life began to build. She was no longer in
bondage or afraid to say her attacker’s name. That’s when
she felt the boldness that she was ready to look him in the
eyes again.
SHAPING THE FUTURE FOR TEEN SURVIVORS
Six months later, Koran went to court for what
she describes as an exhausting 11 hour trial. Every
witness that took the stand shook her confidence. Their
expressions seemed like assurance that she would not win.
When it was her turn to get on the stand, the defending
lawyer tried to flip the script on her, telling the courtroom
“She wanted it.” This infuriated Koran but she did not
back down, “From the moment I got on the stand to the
moment I got off, I made sure my voice was heard. I was
done hiding and holding it in.” At the end of her trial, she
received her justice and won her court case. Afterwards
she continued to cry and even felt guilty at times. People
would tell her to stop crying because she won and it was
all over; however, Korans fight was nowere near over. “You
still think about it everyday, you still worry you’re going
to see him again,” and that day did come. “I was in a store
and I saw him. I stared at him until he looked at me. When
he finally did, I kept walking. I knew I needed to gain some
of my confidence back.”
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