that women wanted to be with him. David didn’t mind being alone; he just
hated that Fairfax wasn’t.
This would change.
David didn’t see Fairfax for two months after he met the marine
biologist. Fairfax failed all of his classes that quarter. When he got home,
he was drunk and had a panic attack. It was odd for David to be on this side
of one, but he managed to calm Fairfax down enough. “Fuck, now I’m never
getting into med school. I just didn’t want to make the same mistake twice;
you know? I should have told her I was going to be a veterinarian and could
take care of all of her animals, even if she had 67 of them, if she would
wait for me. I should have followed Francis; I should have joined the circus.
Instead I followed the marine biologist to kill algae in the Mediterranean
and to fight about ropes and anchors and satellite internet.” David saw that
each conquest since the list’s creation was a chance to recreate that one
accidental harlequin romance. Fairfax hugged him and apologized.
Fairfax brought a girl to check out David’s new car. They were in his
apartment and David had almost no clue why a random girl would care
about his car. “Diane’s a voice actress,” Fairfax explained, taking off his coat
and putting it on a chair.
She waved from the doorway still wearing her coat, “Fairfax has told
me all about you. I hear you like Japanese cartoons. I—”
“She does English overdubbing for anime,” Fairfax said like a salesman at a
Subaru dealership.
“Why?” David asked.
“Because it’s fun and they pay me?” Diane said as if asking whether this
was an acceptable reason do something. She moved her fingers through
her blonde hair. “And I guess it’s the closest I’ll ever get to being a magical
girl, or robot pilot, or you know?” she laughed nervously, “Special in any
way.”
“I mean: why would you dub anime? The Japanese version is already
perfect.”
“I’m sorry, but the voices for the English version of Gundam Wing
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