specimen: the length of his eyebrows is beyond what the programming of
society deems appropriate, on close examination his ears are not perfectly
symmetrical, which might indicate poor genetics. He thinks there are
probably many factors which would conclude that sex with him was being
suboptimal mate selection. The worst socially factor of all being that his
weight. He’s not obese by the standards of a normal person, but he is obese
if you ask the doctor. And even all of these facts about his very being was
hard for David to believe. He identifies with users of magic and pilots of
giant robots. How could this be who he was? It was hard to accept, mostly
because it didn’t seem fair.
The doctor returns with an iPad and a stethoscope. The
stethoscope’s cold under David’s shirt, enough to make him shiver. Yet,
somehow, the confirmation of the doctor’s presence doesn’t make David
feel any less alone, perhaps because the doctor types so much on his iPad.
There is probably a percentage of time spent during a doctor’s visit where
typing on an iPad no longer conveys a sense of careful note taking, but a
form of neglect. David does not know what this percentage is. Perhaps the
feeling of neglect comes from the matter-of-factness the doctor has about
David’s condition: “Flu-like symptoms are, most likely, just the flu.” Maybe
if it were something worse, something fatal, the doctor would think there
was a scarcity of David; he’d find value in experiencing him as a patient
and a person, and not just collect data in order to follow whatever synaptic
flowchart has been compiled in his brain through years of medical school.
“It’s going around.”
“I need a refill of Phenobarbital,” David says as the doctor tries to
usher him out the door.
“Oh,” the doctor pulls out a prescription pad, “Have you been having
any breakthrough seizures since we’ve increased the dose?”
David is surprised the doctor remembers something about him.“No.”
“You’ll be driving again in no time.”
David wants to say that it doesn’t really matter, but thanks the
doctor instead. He knows the game of the social contract a little. There
had been a time when it wasn’t such a conscious thing to follow. He starts
rubbing his neck again.
26