David isn ’ t one to disturb the universe ; he ’ s a programmer - and a good one . A good one , but a lonely one . He takes symbols and letters and creates entire worlds that only exist in the consciousness of machines . He isn ’ t as talented at invading the worlds of others in real life . What good excuse does any someone have to talk to someone else ?
David coughs and goes into his kitchen : disgusting microwave , immaculate stovetop , drying rack with a dish , a fork , and a cup . His refrigerator ’ s exterior is lined with web comics on printer paper that are scotch-taped together and held up by industrial magnets powerful enough to be auxiliary door handles . Most of the comics are Homestuck and XKCD . He pours himself a cup of half hard cider with half Southern Comfort , and a touch of Jägermeister . He doesn ’ t know much about alcohol , but this drink is sweet and gets him drunk quickly and is named after Applejack , the My Little Pony of honesty . This drink helps him sleep through his cough and whiplash . He likes to add an ice cube in the shape of Han Solo frozen in carbonite . David questions the point of someone putting illness in the world as the ice submerges and cracks , tearing the surface away from its solid core .
Sometime after college David just slowly began to feel reality had an increasing and certain sense of surrealism , a feeling which never faded away . It led to panic attacks and eventually a seizure . He had a friend who could help him back then , but there are always hours when people are alone . After college , these solitary hours overshadowed the others , which is best since panic attacks are sometimes by nature best had in private . In moments like these , it helps David to trust his mind to ontological argumentation .
One time , when clutching yards of individual and various tearstained fabrics in the corner between his bed and his wall , he distracted himself with the possibility that someone was feeding a false reality directly into his brain . He rubbed the fabrics against his skin . He remembered the voice of his college professor , “ What if you are just a brain in a vat and some genius is controlling your five senses ? Before any of you say it , yes , like the movie ‘ The Matrix ’.” David ran this scenario through his mind . He wondered if this was merely a rhetorical trick . By posing the
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