PARTIES
UMASS BOSTON
After our hockey game one weekend we had a suprise engagement party for my assistant captain and then we were going to a real nice club in Boston as a team afterwards with all the girlfriends. I recently broke up with mine so I was like F ** k it
I’ m going to drink as much as I want and wheel broads all over the place. I started off by drinking a few beers and whole bottle of rum. A few hours later I could hardly stand up and I fell down the stairs in front of a bunch of people and can’ t get up, I did, however, manage not to spill a drop of my beer. At this point the bouncer kicked me out. Two hours later I woke up from my black out roaming the streets of Boston in the only place I didn’ t really know too well. I called a friend from home and asked him to pick me up in Charlestown and luckily he agreed. 15 minutes later he called me asking where I was and I told him im in Southie on the other side of Boston, 10 minutes later I called him telling him im in Dorchester, then five minutes after that I realized I don’ t know where I am, I’ m so messed up. I sat down at a bus stop, called my friend and told him not to worry about getting me anymore. I then continued to roam and ended up in a big parking garage going up and down the floors looking for a way to get out. By the time I found my way out( the same way I came in) I realized I’ d lost my phone. I finally picked up a cab under the highway and, thank God, made it back to my apartment at 4:45 am, four hours after being kicked out of the bar, down one phone and sixty bucks.
SALISBURY UNIVERSITY
I went home for winter break freshman year and we went over to our friend Paul’ s * house. We were all drinking in his basement and I had a little too much and I passed out on the couch downstairs. Apparently my boyfriend at the time carried me up to bed in the guest room. In the middle of the night I walked to the bathroom, still sleeping, but instead of turning left into the guest room I turned right and went to bed in Paul’ s parents bed. I crawled into bed with Paul’ s dad. He freaked out screaming that I was in the wrong bed but I was passed out so he carried me back to the right bed. I woke up the next morning and never even knew. The next day at work I got a call from my friend cracking up and told me what happened. I started crying out of embarrassment.
US NAVAL ACADEMY
We were all at College Park one weekend visiting some friends at the University of Maryland and everyone’ s plan was to just get drunk and drive back to Annapolis when the night was over. At the point that everyone was extremely intoxicated we decided it was time to go home, so we all piled in a car and started driving. Ten minutes into the drive home our friend called us and said we forgot him. He gave us the address he was at so we turned around and went back to retrieve our fallen friend. We saw him passed out on the side of the road at the address that he gave us so we threw him in the car and drove home. An hour later we arrived home and went straight to sleep. We woke up in the morning with our friend nowhere to be found, but instead, a random guy in our house and 30 minutes later cops were at our door and
TOWSON UNIVERSITY
I was walking back to my dorm freshman year completed plastered and I had to pee to the point where it was either going to pee in my pants and down my leg if I waited a second longer. So, I found what I thought was a nice dark secluded area... turns out I was completely wrong.
It was Towson’ s prescient that I was urinating on. And to top it all off an officer caught me MID PEE. That was the most expensive piss I have ever taken, it cost me my fake ID, $ 500, and my dignity. we were being accused of kidnapping.
BRYN ATHYN COLLEGE
We went to my friend Danny’ s house for his birthday and there was plenty of alcohol there. The cause of my whole bad night though was the bottle of Everclear that our friend Ray had brought. So Ray brought in the bottle and split it in half between two, one gallon jugs of Hawaian punch, one red and one blue. So now we have two gallons of hawaian punch / Everclear mix. Then I exercised my better judgement and decided to do shots of this mixture with anyone who will do it with me. But it didnt end there. I continued to take shots of it until it was gone, sometimes taking double and triple shots if people didnt claim their glass. By the time all of it was gone it was 11:30 and I was blacking out. The last thing I remember was picking up the birthday boy and dropping him on his face. Then, from what I’ m told, I“ did a split” with a bunch of volleyball girls on the floor then proceeded to go outside and begin throwing up while one of our sober friends took care of me. After two hours of throwing up I somehow lost all my clothes aside from my boxers and then I was taken inside the house, through the packed party, into the bathroom where things continued to go down hill. I was moved to an arm chair that I would eventually ruin with my throw up. Finally I was reported to have woken up at 6 am and screamed“ What the f #$* happened?!?” waking everyone up. It took days to recover.
PHILADELPHIA UNIVERSITY
Last year we were at our friend Mike’ s and we were pregaming a party. The seniors got extremely upset about graduating and moving into the real world so we got in a circle put our arms around each others shoulders and sang. Our six foot tall, 250 pound friend,
Gary Cried
After we all sobered up a little bit we started drinking again but Gary kept reminiscing and crying. He was standing between me and our other friend Steve, he says‘ watch this’ to me and‘ f $%# this table’ to Steve, then walks in the other room. We continue to play flip cup and next thing we know a shirtless Gary comes running in from the kitchen and belly flops onto the plastic fold out table destroying it and riding it into the living room. He then proceeded to get very naked and give a freshman girl a lapdance because we told him it was her birthday, the lapdance consisted of him laying flat on her and singing“ Happy Birthday.” It was not her birthday.
ST. JOES UNIVERSITY
One Saturday night freshman year my friends and I got back late to the dorm and I was really drunk and very hungry. There was leftover Chinese food in the mini fridge that I obviously was going to destroy. I pulled my under bed storage container out to get a fork, then got the fried rice out of the fridge. When I was walking to the microwave, I tripped over the storage container and fell on my face. My Chinese spilled everywhere on me and on the floor. Oh did I mention I’ m in a SJU t-shirt and my underwear? So I didn’ t get up I just stayed in my fallen position and started to eat the food off the floor. My friend walked in right as I was eating this and started to freak out, she thought
I had thrown up and was now eating it off the f loor
Needless to say my roommate documented all of this happening through pictures- me being a hot drunk mess in my underwear, hair all over the place, with Chinese food all over me. And don’ t worry we informed my other friend that I was not eating my throw up.
* name has been changed to avoid expulsion or further criminal charges.
THE COLLEGE OF NJ
So my best friend Rob and I had a typical night out drinking and were hungry. We ventured downstairs to his dorm to get change to raid the vending machines. As we went upstairs we passed our friend Matt who was very drunk and wanted to pass out in Rob’ s room. Twenty minutes later when we returned with our bounty, our poor friend was passed out on the floor next to a sizable amount of red vomit. Angry, yet still drunk, my friend Rob decided he would just sleep it off and deal with it in the morning. Cut to the next morning. I venture downstairs to wake Rob up for breakfast. Matt is nowhere to be found, but a horrendous smell eeks from the tiny dorm room. Rob searches for the culprit, and happens upon his basket of fresh laundry. Matt not only peed in the basket of clothes in the middle of the night, but took a SHIT on Rob’ s favorite Ralph Lauren Pajamas. Somehow those two are STILL friends.
ONFESSIONS
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