Ask Greta
Dear Greta ,
My husband and I are expecting our second child . We have planned since we ' ve been together to have two children . When we told my mother-in-law the happy news she took me aside and said that if we have another girl we will need to try again so we can produce a boy to " carry on the family name ." My in-laws are not as interested in our daughter as I would have expected . Sometimes I think if we had a son , they would be more involved . We will love our child , girl or boy . I am not sure I want more than two children . How should I respond to her ?
- Confused Daughter-in-Law
Dear Confused ,
The size of your family , and the decision to start and end childbearing is a mutual decsion between you and your husband . Your mother-in-law has , in stating preferences , broken a boundary she has no business crossing . For some people , the family name is a hallowed and sacred thing to carry forth . That ' s part of their values , though . Your job here is to be kind , polite , and non-committal . Let your husband handle his mother and remind her of her boundaries if she starts getting invasive . Moreover , never let your daughter think they don ' t love her enough or would love her more if she was male . If you do have a boy , be vigilant in not letting your inlaws ' favoritism show , as that could be very hurtful and damaging to your daughter ' s self-esteem .
Mail your questions to Greta at : “ Good News ” P . O . Box 99 , Avis PA 17721 , or email them to : goodnews @ kcnet . org .
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