September 2021 | Page 26

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However , almost seven years after Sam disappeared , they had a phone call from a vet asking if they ’ d lost a cat called Sam . He had been living with an elderly lady in Wallasey for two years , and when she died , a neighbour took him to a cat protection group where he was scanned for a microchip .
Sam and the family then happily reunited , but a big question remains . Sam ’ s journey from Bootle to Wallasey would have involved a journey through one of the Mersey tunnels or an hourlong round trip by car . It ’ s thought however he may have simply hitched a ride from an unwitting driver . So , Sam got back home after an adventure of seven years including a river crossing , prompting the headline , “ Furry across the Mersey .”
Reading the signs
There are three teenage pedestrians in Derbyshire who must have been extremely embarrassed after they unknowingly starred in video which recently went viral . It was taken by a motorist who was held up by road works being controlled by temporary lights .
He watched in amazement as the three lads approached a sign reading , “ Wait here until green light shows ,” as they dutifully stopped and waited on the pavement . Only when the light turned from red to green did they start walking again . The driver uploaded the video to Facebook , commenting , “' Lads whoever you are , this turned my day from s ** t to the best drive home ever .” The teenagers have not been identified or are wisely avoiding the limelight . Meanwhile , drivers in Glenrothes have been confused by a new roundabout which has appeared in the town , and pictures of it have been widely circulated on social media . Fife Council has blamed an external contractor for the error which has resulted in the large arrows painted on the road surface instruct drivers to go around the roundabout anti-clockwise instead of clockwise .
And in July , customers at Tesco supermarkets in the UK were greeted with motivational posters encouraging camaraderie during the COVID-19 pandemic . However , some patrons were confused by the placement of the messages especially one reading “ Together we can do this .” It was found in a urinal stall in the men ’ s toilets .
Things you didn ’ t know yesterday
The statutory time allowed for an icecream van to play its chimes is 12 seconds . We know this now after a business in East Suffolk was charged with overuse of its van ’ s jingle during April and May .
A resident in Loewstoft ( yes , just one resident ) complained to the local council that the van had played its tune “ excessively ” and the firm has now been banned from the street in which the complainant lives . However , the business owner denies the chimes were sounded for more than 20 seconds but has accepted the ruling to keep the peace .
Mohamed Lamarti founded the business in 1980 after retiring as an acrobat with Gerry Cottle ’ s circus , and now has 12 vans operating around Great Yarmouth . One wit suggested he should now change the name from Lamarati ’ s to “ Mr Softly .”
Meanwhile , we now know that there are 51 ways to leave your lover . It ’ s official . The 51st method has been demonstrated by a woman in Lincolnshire who remotely accessed her ex-boyfriend ’ s Alexa device and CCTV camera , and remotely instructed his new girlfriend to leave the house . She has since appeared at Isleworth Crown Court on a charge of causing distress .
Spare a thought …
… for school teachers in the Inverclyde area of Scotland who began the new school year with no few than 15 sets of twins attending school for the first time . But it ’ s not a record – in 2015 19 pairs of siblings started classes . The area has become known as Twinverclyde .
... a group who oppose Covid vaccinations who decided to demonstrate their disapproval of the BBC ’ s coverage of the pandemic by storming Television Centre in west London last month . The BBC moved out of the building in 2013 .
... the owners of Grey , the African Grey parrot who escaped and was found 20 miles away at London ’ s Waterloo Station . After he was returned to his owners , they found he had learned some new tricks . Grey the Grey now drives the family mad by copying the Bing-Bong of the station ’ s Tannoy system and insists on telling them to “ Keep left !”
... Tilly the dachshund who had to be rescued by firefighters in Waterbeach near Cambridge last month after her nose became stuck in an ornate wine rack . Her owner knew she was in a trouble when he heard a little German whine . ( That ’ s not funny – Ed .)
... Chip the five-year-old Norfolk terrier who accidentally took a 50-mile trip when he jumped on board an empty wedding bus in south-west London . It ’ s believed he thought his owner was on board the bus , and they have since be reunited . Let ’ s hope he had a Rover ticket . ( Neither is that – Ed .)
... a dog walker in Thorndon , Suffolk , who has been left embarrassed after an advertisement for her dog-walking service appeared in a parish magazine . Unfortunately , a typo replaced the “ L ” in “ walking ” with an “ N ”. She says she has received “ disgusting ” messages since it was distributed . ( That ’ s enough ! – Ed .)

Quotes

“ If the word ‘ curry ’ is now deemed to be racist , then I need to leave this planet with immediate effect .” – Piers Morgan .
“ You can do anything you want to do . Trying and failing is no problem , as long as you try .” - Helen Glover of Team GB , who with teammate Polly Swann , just missed a bronze medal in the women ’ s rowing pairs at the Olympic Games .
“ Honestly , your third leg was just phenomenal !” – BBC ’ s Clare Balding to Team GB ’ s Olympic gold medal winners Tom Dean and Matt Richards . ( They smirked .)
“ Spain has a gold medal for vaccination .” – Spanish president Pedro Sánchez on news in late July that the country has vaccinated 55.7 % its population , more than any other of the 50 most populated countries .
“ I told Prince Harry , I think she ’ s going to ruin your life . She ’ s very shallow .” - Thomas Markle Jr , Megan Markle ’ s estranged half-brother , speaking on Australian ’ s TV ’ s version of Big Brother .
“ Harry and Meghan wade into Afghan crisis ... saying they ’ re ‘ speechless ’ ( if only )” – Headline in the Daily Mail , August 17 .
Grateful acknowledgement to the following papers from which some of this material is extracted : Daily Mail , Daily Mirror , Daily Express , Independent on Sunday , Mail on Sunday , The Sun , The Sunday Times , The Times and The Telegraph . Seen something funny , bizarre or just plain weird ? Contributions for Jottings are welcome by email to : sarah @ soltalk . com .
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