Sepia Prime Woman Digital Magazine October 2013 | Page 11

The Success Coach

Failing, Life &
The Courage To Embrace
Your Awesome

W

omen’s Transformation Coach and Author Cheryl
Pullins has made a lot of BOLD Moves. Her latest book,
“What Every Diva Must Know About Starting Her Own
Business”, is helping leaders put feet to dreams that may
have long been buried inside of them. She talked with
Michele Aikens about life, struggle and “finding your
awesome.”
MA: As a girl did you ever feel your life was normal or did
you know there was something different about you?
CP: Until I was 12 I thought my life was normal. My
mother who raised me was a lot older than me, but she
is the only mom I knew. I thought she was just an older
mom. At the age of 12 I had an identity crisis; I found out
the children I played with next door were my brother and
sister- my actual siblings. I went from having a normal
childhood to feeling disconnected. I still knew there was
something fabulous and awesome about me, that I would
do something spectacular on a visible stage, but I didn’t
know what it was.
MA: Interesting that you use those terms: fabulous and
awesome which are words associated with your coaching.
Knowing you had a life on the visible stage and something
fabulous…what was your biggest struggle as a child?
CP: The identity crisis WAS my struggle. Even after I
found out I was adopted I still didn’t know where I was
born, or my father’s name, or why I wasn’t raised by my
mom or dad, or who my blood relatives were. I didn’t
have a birth certificate until I was 19. No one knew where
I was born. I started asking my birth mother all of those
questions at age 19. She was gracious and wrote me a long
letter with some answers. She didn’t answer any questions
about herself personally, though.
MA: How old were you when you got married?

CP: I was 23. I married a man who was one of nine
children in a very strong, close-knit family. I think that
sense of a family was part of why I was attracted to him.
His family was very receptive of me, which made me want
to be part of his family even more- especially with the
identity issue I had.
MA: Can you share why that marriage ended?
CP: I don’t mind, I believe transparency helps people
transform their own lives. The reason the marriage ended
was because we had ongoing challenges with trust. I didn’t
want to live like that anymore.
MA: How did you respond to the ending of that
relationship?
CP: I was the one who left. [The ending] was very volatile
and emotional. He was a pastor and he naturally wanted
to save face. He did what he thought he could do to save
face. I went into seclusion. I went to work and came home.
I was an emotional wreck. I cried all the time. I stayed in
the house. I had the girls on the weekends because getting
them to school was challenging with my work situation. It
was TOUGH..IT WAS TOUGH…IT WAS…TOUGH.”
MA: Did you ever feel like a failure?
CP: ABSOLUTELY (laughing)!
When I felt like a failure I can’t say I was in agreement
with it, not initially. As I started to deal with me and my
contributions to what had taken place, I was able to own
my failures. Then I was able to say ‘I contributed. He did
his stuff, but I allowed some things to happen.’ I felt the
ending of my marriage was the biggest failure I had ever
experienced, because I used to look down on people who
went through divorce. I held marriage in such high esteem
and I never believed divorce would happen to me.
MA: When did you discover your calling?
CP: “My calling, with regard to what I do I belie ve, has
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