Senwes Scenario December 2016 / January 2017 | Page 51

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W H ER E T HE RE  S ' A W IL L T HE R E ' S A WAY ••

My self-image
is in question!
REV CAREL BOTMA

HUMANS ARE ABLE TO DREAM AND FOR THIS REASON WE USUALLY STRIVE TOWARDS THE ACHIEVEMENT OF CERTAIN GOALS.

I

t is usually the case with
people who have just started
their careers. But, as time goes by,
people become disillusioned by
life as a result of setbacks which
seem to be senseless and which
just do not stop. Or, your career
is just not what you expected it to
be. Dreams don’t come true, one
after the other. The very difficult
and competitive circumstances
under which the individual has to
follow his profession, exhaust him
emotionally.
Due to the emotional fragility of
the individual he no longer has
the full potential to realistically
evaluate losses or the possibility
thereof. As time goes by not only
his dreams and ideals lie in pieces,
but also the individual himself.
Not only his attempts failed, but

he has become the failure. He
eventually loses his focus on his
successes and eventually he only
sees his failures. The end result of
this process is a low self-esteem, in
other words, a person who evaluates himself in a negative manner.
He punishes himself with self-criticism, self-reproach and eventually he hates himself. He cannot
forgive himself for mistakes and
incorrect decisions and he will fret
about it for days: He has failed as
a person! He built up his resources
based on his dreams and ideals.
As his dreams and ideals started to
splinter and break into pieces, it
happened to the resources as well.
If this is true about your life you
will possibly be dissatisfied with
your personal characteristics and
you will be questioning your real

identity. Your lost resources determine your identity, after all. A natural reaction is to try to make up
for all of this by acquiring more
and better resources: you buy a
more expensive car, put more
pressure on your children to perform (on your behalf ), you want
a life of more luxury, you work
longer hours, etcetera. Often these
futile attempts throw you further
into the whirlpool of stress due to
debt incurred in your attempts to
acquire more resources.
Your self-esteem suffers even
more in the process and the failures become more and worse.
Eventually you want to know why
God even granted you life, since
it makes you sick - it nauseates
you. It would be closer to the
truth to say that, due to your low
self-esteem, you nauseate yourself!
You would prefer to have been a
miscarriage with Job.
This low self-esteems strips you
of your confidence to have and
to maintain sensible relationships
with other people - it may even
affect existing relationships. Your
low self-esteem also robs you of
your confidence to set further
objectives for the future. The
vicious circle becomes more and
more intense...

SENWES Scenario • DEC 2016/JAN 2017

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