Drifting into retirement
Curmudgeon’s
Corner
IVAN RACONTEUR • EDITOR
My sister, who is a great pal of mine, has carried on
many of the traditions started by our mother.
One of these is to send me articles and other little
tidbits she has found that she thinks I might enjoy.
One of my favorite recent submissions was a unique
new concept for retirement living.
The company in question promises prospective re-
tirees the opportunity to “explore the USA from the
comfort of home.”
The scheme involves a “community” of retirement
condominiums on a boat.
The boat allows residents to “cruise America’s
6,600 miles of inland waterways on a slow boat to
everywhere.”
Imagine waking each morning on a new stretch of
river. This new company will allow one to do that.
Instead of spending one’s golden years in the same
dusty, gated community in Arizona, one can spend
those years exploring the country.
Throughout the year, the boat will travel to differ-
ent cities.
From the northernmost stop in St. Paul, one can
visit other exotic locations such as Dubuque, St. Louis,
Omaha, Pittsburgh, Knoxville, Memphis, and Tulsa.
Drifting further south, one will have a chance to
explore Natches, New Orleans, Pensacola, Carabelle,
and Port Isabel.
Like ground-based snowbirds, the owners of
these new condominiums will follow the sun, cruis-
ing northern rivers during the summer months, and
southern rivers and coastal waters in the winter.
Each boat will include 185 to 200 condominiums,
and support up to 400 residents.
The living spaces range from 528- to 924-square-
feet, with larger custom designs available.
Similar to other housing associations, residents will
share the cost of things such as fuel, staff salaries, in-
surance, and docking fees.
The insurance question might be an important
one.
Most insurance companies are experienced with
insuring “regular” housing facilities, but where does
one purchase insurance for a fl oating condo? What
happens in the unlikely case that one’s house sinks?
In addition to the ever-changing riparian scenery,
residents will enjoy modern conveniences such as
digital TV, high-speed Internet access, and telephone
service.
Amenities include concierge service, a cruising
lounge, theatres, activity rooms, and a library.
Residents will be able to stay limber by using the
community fi tness equipment, walking track, and
chipping course, and then relax in the hot tub and
pool.
For those who enjoy fi shing, it couldn’t be easier.
All one would have to do would be to cast a line over
the side. One wouldn’t even have to leave home.
Other amenities are available for additional cost.
My sister was right. The vagabond lifestyle does
appeal to me, and I wouldn’t mind spending part of
my retirement years – assuming I live long enough to
r etire – on a fl oating palace.
Unfortunately, it is not to be.
Not only am I confi dent that my meager retirement
income will not be suffi cient to support a river-based
lifestyle, I couldn’t afford it now.
The cost of the fl oating condominiums will range
from $299,000 to $499,000, depending on size.
In addition to this, there is the homeowners’ asso-
ciation fees to consider.
These are expected to be about $26.50 per square
foot per month. That equates to a total of $1,166 to
$2,040 per month, depending on the size of one’s
condo.
It was a nice idea, but I am afraid that if I want a
river-based lifestyle in my retirement years, it will be
limited to a tent and a canoe.
I’d probably be happier that way, anyhow.
Note: this column was originally published by
Herald Journal Oct. 4, 2010.
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