Age rage: how old do you think I am?
Dale Kovar
HJ GENERAL MANAGER
I’ve really mellowed out.
There are so many things that used to upset me
that I can just slough off now. It might be the wis-
dom of perspective, or more likely, it’s that many
things just aren’t worth expending the energy to
be bothered about.
First, consider this:
As a youngster, after a Vikings loss, I put on
my toy shoulder pads and rammed into a wall
until I made a hole in the plaster.
A few years later when I was more mature and
able to drive, I punched the ceiling of my car un-
til my knuckles were bloody on the way home
from a haircut because they cut my hair shorter
than I wanted.
That’s the baseline I’m operating from.
Like I said, tantrums just aren’t worth the effort
4
Senior
anymore.
But once in awhile, something pops up that still
inspires a reaction. I’m too polite to make a scene,
so instead, I’ll just write about it.
The offense is this, and I’m naming names – the
alcohol policy at the Renaissance Festival.
I don’t consume alcohol anymore, but do have
occasion to buy a drink for my wife or pick up
off-sale for a gathering. Normally, I don’t have
any problems.
This year there was an unfortunate combination
of bad timing. Because I had another birthday, I
had to renew my driver license, and of course,
the State of Minnesota still hadn’t sent me the
new one.
Obviously at the Renaissance Festival, the pol-
icy is that every prospective buyer of alcohol gets
carded. In general, I don’t object.
What pushed me over the edge, was that when
I handed over my expired license with the holes
punched in it, that wasn’t good enough. I also had
to dig out my renewal receipt papers so they could
be scrutinized. They said I needed “a valid ID.”
That happened twice, after which I informed
my wife she was going to have to buy her own
drinks from then on.
Connections Nov/Dec 2019
The crucial fact to be determined was if I am
old enough to legally purchase alcohol, not if I
am currently qualifi ed to drive.
Thus, I contend, if I was old enough a couple
months ago, as my expired license indicates, then
I am still old enough. (You know what? I’m actu-
ally even older now than I was then.)
And if you can’t tell that this gray-haired,
white-bearded guy was at least 21 years old, then
you better not be entrusted with any responsibil-
ity whatsoever as a sales clerk.
Like so many things, this appears to be another
example of government’s frequent penchant for
taking a good idea to such an extreme that it be-
comes foolish.
The penalty for someone to serve alcohol with-
out checking an ID, even if the buyer is clearly
eligible for a senior citizen discount, must be so
severe that fear triumphs over common sense.
I get it. Some people look younger than they
are; others look older. There is a pretty wide mar-
gin for error.
If I’m 40, fi ne – go ahead and card me. You’re
doing your job.
But when I’m just about three times the legal
age, leave me alone already!
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