DARKSIDE
MONTY HALLS AND THE
Cave of Inevitable Peril *
To get everyone in the mood for adventure , Monty Halls tells the story of his final dive pre-lockdown , during a break from filming in the Dominican Republic
Cave divers . Great big , ruggsy-tuggsy heroes and heroines . Draped with absurd amounts of kit , pushing into the fetid bowels of other earth , laughing in the face of danger , rescuing entire football teams , poo ’ ing in bags , and laying a line for the rest of us bubble blowing “ still haven ’ t quite cracked my buoyancy control ” Muppets to gingerly follow .
That ’ s always been my impression anyway , ever since reading Leo Dickinson ’ s Anything is Possible back in 1989 - therein lies a great quote , by the way : “ lose the line , and you lose your mind ”. It seemed utter madness ; his stories of fumbling through the gloom of Wookey Hole made my blood run cold , but at the same time made me aspire to what was surely the zenith of our art - relying on nerve , impeccable discipline , meticulous calculations , and cahoonas so gigantic that they can only fit through the largest of cave entrances .
Before a righteous storm of social media indignation descends upon me , I ’ m keenly aware that many of the very best cave divers are women , and I can see why . Lack of ego , the ability to stay forensically calm in the most fraught of environments , and teak-like toughness . These are qualities that - I would suggest - are more abundant in female divers than men , so I can see why several of the great cave explorers are women . I just liked the cahoonas image , and wanted to include it in the article , so we ’ ll leave it there if we may …..
I was - initially - a bit intimidated by cave divers . Or , actually , by the thought of cave divers . It ’ s like meeting Pele and telling him you play a bit of football as well . It just seems absurd to be talking about the same hobby when the two members of that conversation occupy such entirely different ends of the spectrum of what ’ s involved . My dream dive is probably chasing cuttlefish
* Cavern of Serene Loveliness
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