YO-HANCHA
The burdens of leadership
Forced into leading trips by his own need to dive , Yo-Han Cha vents his frustrations with this entertaining rant
Some people love running dive trips , maybe they love the responsibility of being ‘ in charge ’. I ’ m not that person ; I always prefer to jump on a trip that someone else is running . This is because I am lazy . I would much prefer someone else be in charge of everything . I just need to know where I need to be , at what time . I might be a bit late , having not been listening properly when we were told the meeting place and time , but that ’ s beside the point .
I started running dive trips because I wanted to go diving in locations that my club hadn ’ t been to previously , or weren ’ t running a trip to it that year . The only way to dive there was to volunteer to run the trip myself . So , I rather foolishly volunteered and discovered the joys of running a dive trip . As I soon found out , the diving ’ s the easy part . Organising humans is like herding cats . I ’ ve discovered that everyone is delightfully different and each participant has their unique requirements when it comes to dive trips ... and just life in general .
They want a hard boat , not a RIB , and it must have a dive lift . They want to go deeper . They want to dive a wreck . But not that wreck . They want to try diving something new . They want to do what they ’ ve always done before . They don ’ t want to share a room , but want to pay the same as everyone else . They want an en-suite . They want a double room . A double room will absolutely not do . They want breakfast . Breakfast was a waste as the owners weren ’ t willing to get up early and have it ready by 6 o ’ clock in order for them to eat it before ropes off . They don ’ t tell you of any dietary requirements for a self-catered trip where we ’ re all cooking together . But on the day , they don ’ t eat this , or that . And they don ’ t know how to cook what they actually can eat , bangers and mash .
They have brought their own kit , but their new regulators are still in the boxes they arrived in . They ’ ve bought a new computer and don ’ t know how to use it . They ’ re using kit that ’ s been untouched in their garage for five years but it ’ ll be fine , don ’ t worry
‘ Organising humans is like herding cats ’
[ Just to clarify , do worry – Editor ]. Then , I have no idea why it broke , anyone got a spare ? Has anyone seen my dive knife ? Yes , I have a DSMB . No , I don ’ t know how to use it . You will only find out after I try to deploy it for the first time from 18m ( this particular eejit was yours truly ).
What ’ s the water temperature ? What ’ s the weather going to be like ? Why ’ s it blown out ? But the waves don ’ t look that big . How long ’ s the drive ? I ’ ve locked myself out of my room . I didn ’ t realise I ’ d need sunscreen on a sunny day . I didn ’ t realise being outdoors
Yo-Han ’ s trips ( above and below ); he ’ d swim 100 miles for one of those smiles
in Scotland would require a coat . I don ’ t need seasickness tablets , as I definitely don ’ t get seasick . Can you book me a place on the trip but I don ’ t know if I can come ? Sorry I still haven ’ t paid a deposit but I ’ m definitely , definitely coming . Trust me , I ’ m definitely coming . Don ’ t worry , I ’ m good for the money . Sorry , I can ’ t come .
These are all real-life requests , demands and statements from my fellow divers . Really .
I never realised running a dive trip would involve overcoming quite that many and diverse hurdles , but despite all that , running a trip is still fun . And the main thing is , we go diving . �
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