SBTM May 2015 Anthony Ford | Page 31

EDIT ORIA L FEAT URE Recognizing the Value of Celebration - Part 2 By Kim Sawyer I n the Part 1 of Recognizing the Value of Celebration, we explored the meaning of “value” as the basic guide to and result of successful living. We looked at the ritual of celebration as a practice that is indispensable to our capacity to create value and enjoy it fully. Now, as promised, I will explain my theory about the root purpose of Celebration and present a critical element in our psychology, sense of life. Further, I will reveal a hardwired dysfunction of our survival mechanism and the consequent really problematic impact on our sense of life and, thus, our access to peak performance and satisfaction in our lives. Celebration is directly and fundamentally tied to our basic underlying, overall mindset toward life. I refer to this as our sense of life. I am convinced that our ability to enjoy life and function well requires us to maintain a fundamentally benevolent sense of life. Sense of life has two components; one is our worldview. It is my core belief that I live in a benevolent or malevolent world or somewhere in between. A benevolent worldview is comprised of a deep, usually unconscious emotional equivalent of the belief that the world is a friendly place where good things are the rule and bad things are the exception, combined with the conviction that I have a place in it. The second aspect is self-view; do I hold myself in self-esteem or self-contempt or somewhere in between? Similarly, it is deep, usually unconscious, and emotionally experienced and it is a combination of self-worth and self-confi- dence. Do I deserve good things and am I basically up to the challenges that living in the world will bring my way? As humans, we all have a sense of life that includes both components. We can’t help it; we are wired that way. And all of us have a primary set point somewhere on the plus/minus spectrum of each. It has evolved mostly subconsciously over the years through experiences, decisions, choices, and actions. I can be changed but very slowly and with a lot of hard work. In addition, all of us can have our moment-to-moment experiences of our sense of life, up or down that set point in response to our circumstances and actions. Another important part of our psychology as human beings is our survival mechanism. Thank goodness that we have it and that it operates so well when we truly need it. However, there is an inherent and unavoidable side-effect that can be very problematic to our sense of life. Because our survival mechanism is built in to autonomously, uncontrollably react with massive intensity on many levels including chemical, muscular, neural, emotional, and mental when confronted with anything that we consider a threat to our well-being, we are left with a profound, powerful, and lingering recollection of that experience. The power and half-life of even relatively minor negative experiences are far greater than positive experiences, even very good ones. In other words, whenever we make a mistake or the world places a bad turn of events in our path, the memory of them hits hard and lasts a long time, whereas when we do something well or something favorable happens to us, the memory flickers briefly and is rapidly forgotten. The difficult consequence of this process is an unavoidable and ongoing distortion or influence in our sense of life toward the negative. We all know in our calm thinking moments of awareness, the occurrence of mistakes and things gone wrong is statistically minuscule relative to all that we successfully do when things go well. Nonetheless, we all tend to predominantly ignore or take for granted our successful functioning and the smooth goings on in our lives. All the while, we reverberate with our errors and misfortunes, reliving and replaying them consciously, talking about them with others and dreaming about them at night long after they occur and fade into the past. So we all navigate through our lives with this constant inner-pressure to increase our doubt of ourselves and the world we inhabit. Without a conscious and usually challenging effort to compensate for it, our sense of self and sense of the world skew to the dark side. This does not bode well for our ability to live our lives with excellence, success, prosperity, love, and joy. What can we do? How can we deal for this pernicious stowaway in our cerebral cortexes? How can we continually correct this distortion, adjusting and re-correlating our conscious view of ourselves and our lives? »Continued On Page 30 [ MAY 2015 ] WWW.SBTMAGAZINE.NET 29