Riding For Christ
Do Not Grow Gentle ...
Kevin Weatherby
We were sorting off some cows and the rancher was calling out the numbers to turn out . He brought two cows around and was pointing at the one to let out . Without a long drawn out story , I moved in to help make the cut and was told that I needed to get out of the way .
And to be honest with you , it pissed me off .
He didn ’ t say it ugly and didn ’ t snap at me . He just told me to get out of the way . I can ’ t think of a much more humiliating circumstance to be in than that . That ’ s the kind of stuff that is told to ten-year-olds that are just learning . I ’ ve sorted more cows than I could ever imagine and with that has come a lot of mistakes , but today wasn ’ t a day that I made a mistake .
What happened is that after he pointed at the cow , he decided to let both of them go without informing anyone else . I moved in to make the cut and got told to get out of the way . want to storm off or have a war of words … or even yet , let ’ s just settle it like men .
If this wasn ’ t bad enough , it was double bad because I ’ d asked for it . That morning , I ’ d asked God to help me with a particular problem I had .
It ’ s kind of like the poem by Dylan Thomas :
Do not go gentle into that good night , Old age should burn and rave at close of day ; Rage , rage against the dying of the light .
Except my words were :
Do not grow gentle into that good day Old rage should burn and stave at the close of night ; Pride , hide against the dying words I pray .
Dying to self is never easy . Asking God to help you die to self is not easy . Growing isn ’ t easy . None of it easy . None .
The thing I ’ d asked for help with is my pride . Now I don ’ t think I ’ m better than anyone . I don ’ t think more highly of myself than I should , but I still have a problem with pride .
He didn ’ t say , “ Let both go .” He said , “ Get out of the way .”
I walked to the side of the pens and stewed for a moment . You know that feeling don ’ t you ? Your heart is kind of beating fast and there is a hundred things you want to say and half a dozen things you want to do , but instead , you just sit there and stew .
I like stew better than pout and sulk .
It took a good ten minutes for me to calm down . Even while writing this , I can feel my blood pressure rising . There is a tightness in your chest and you feel like the world is pointing at you and laughing . You
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