Here
Pham Hung Hau (Robbie)
It’s 4pm on Friday, August 31, 2018 in Melbourne,
Australia. I have just opened the window of my office
assigned for PhD candidates to let the last rainy
breezes of Australian winter in. After settling onto an
armrest-less office chair (big no-no for experienced
white collars), I write these words:
“I am from Viet Nam but I got here from Malaysia”, I
would tell people in Melbourne mindlessly disregarding
the gap year that I spent hopping around cafes in Ha
Noi working on my PhD application after finishing my
Honours degree with SASS. In many senses, I don’t
think my narrative is disrupted. I have a clear sense
of cohesion in my timeline. I carry with me both the
essence (the idea) and the embodiment of “Malaysia”
marching forward, the two ways of sense-making
folded together like how Deleuze interestingly put it
once.
This notion of Malaysia, for me, has transcended
beyond the frame of time and space. That is the reason
why I am able to talk of my experience of Malaysia as if
it never ceased. That is the reason why I can still talk of
a self-proclaimed Malaysian-ness in me that manifests
itself through the cravings for the fishy smell of extra
seehum in my curry laksa (many thanks to my Hokkien
Malaysian partner Euson, who is the very culprit for
the extra seehum, for reminding me of the word) or the
snobbish comments on the authenticity of Melbourne’s
kuah kacang (WHERE ARE THE PEANUTS??).
Indeed, I got where I am now from Malaysia. I got here
from the late nights in the SASS Honours room with
my coursemate Hui Koon (Christ) ploughing through
our theses again and again, from the regular Tuesday
futsal games with friends, from the lessons by SASS
academic members – Dr Yeoh, Ghislaine, Sharon,
Joseph, Andrew, Jonathan, and everyone else. I got
here from the capital I acquired throughout my time
(t)here, both social and cultural (the appropriation is real).
I’m not usually one to valorise institutions (as I haven’t
been out of school for my whole life thus far), but SASS
has been an indispensable part of both my personal
and professional journey. Enriching my taste buds,
honing my cynicism, awakening the critical theorist in
me, and problematising my personal ontology (read:
severe existential crisis) – SASS has done it all and I’m
all the better for it!
From where I stand now, I’ve got a home in Malaysia
(the Border Security Agency would disagree but one
can hope). SASS might very well be the cause of it.
After all, it was the first reason I came to Malaysia, and
where I have found so many more reasons to stay and
to return.
Robbie graduated with a Bachelor of Arts Honours in
2017. He is currently a PhD candidate at the School
of Social and Political Sciences, the University of
Melbourne, Australia.
◀ With my coursemates, Alya, Christ,
and honours supervisor, Dr Ghislaine Lewis
in the Communication Lab (2016)
155
I carry
with me
both the
essence
(the idea)
and the
embodiment
of “Malaysia”
marching
forward.
Channeling my inner
destructive Ai Wei Wei
at the National Gallery
Victoria, Melbourne
(July 2018). ▶