Sasaran 74th Edition SASARAN EDISI 74 (20FEB18) | Page 65

“Your breast is not important to me. What’s more important is that I want you to be healthy.” tive 3. In simple terms, an advanced grade cancer. After hearing those three words from her doctor, “You have cancer,” initially Julainatul was emotionally composed. She felt as if she was dreaming and the reality hasn’t sunken in. At first, she can- not accept the truth because had no family history of cancer. Ever. The next day when her son told her, “Mama, I can, of course, look for you in the current life (this present). But I don’t know where to find you in life after death. So, you fight for it mama”. At that moment, Julainatul broke down into tears and still cannot accept the fact that she has a stage 3 breast can- cer. “Why me? Why me?” was the question that had haunted her for several days. When her oncologist explained to her and why she got it, little by little she finally tried to face the reality and prepared herself for the battle. An ultrasound, mam- mogram and CT scan were done to confirm the tumour with param- eter of 8 inches by 12 inches. “The oncologist told me that – advance grade carcinoma always attacks patients below the age of 50 due to the active Estrogen (before meno- pause)”, said Julainatul. The cell in the lobules of her breast multiplies uncontrollably in shape and divid- ed into alienated forms whereas our normal cell would multiply accord- ingly. Julainatul went through series of chemotherapy as much as 8 cycles of chemo for every 21 days with a combination of 3 types of cytoxic drugs such as TAC, Pre- jecta and Heceptin. During those struggling weeks, she experienced physical weakness, and the loss of her hair, nails discolouration, she realized her circumstance had changed her perceptions on life in a different outlook. She went to see a PCMC Breast Surgeon and Oncol- ogist in April 2017. She was curious of her life span as she was having Stage 3 Left Breast Carcinoma (infected more than 4 limb nodes), so she asked them, “How long can I live?”. The Breast Surgeon replied, “You don’t be naughty, just follow what we’ve planned for you and you will be alright”. At the same time, the oncologist answered, “I give you the best medicines”. Encouraging Julainatul to keep on fighting for her life and made her feel confident during the difficult times. “They give me hope”, was the only thing Julainatul felt sure of. She began to experience life through a different set of lens, aligning her empathy and spiri- tual-self in tune. “Accept what I am, what I have. I am pleased with Allah’s test and I will be fine”, she explained. The support from her family, husband and friends kept her going during these darkest hours. “Having endless support from the husband is an important key to fighting cancer. He has to be emotionally strong, knowing the fact that her wife only has one breast to live with”, grateful is Julainatul to be having such a supportive husband throughout the rough life journey she has to go through. One of her nuisance co-workers in PCMC did asked her this when she showed up for work one day, “Is it true? I heard that your husband couldn’t take it that you only have one breast?” Julainatul only replied, “No, he is okay with it and I still have anoth- er breast”. Back in her retreat with her family, she told her husband what had happened earlier and her husband responded, “Your breast is not important to me. What’s SASARAN JURNAL KRITIKAN MEDIA . 65