How to be an Inspiration
As someone who writes and speaks about my cancer experience (along with other alarming
topics such as marriage equality, spirituality and the many perils of menopause), I’m
sometimes introduced as an “inspirational” person. I wonder if this isn’t just a nice way
of saying “This lady is about to talk about some things we hope will never happen to us”.
Notwithstanding, what is it we mean when we say someone or something is “inspiring”? And
is being inspirational something we can all aspire to?
Most people probably wouldn’t consider themselves to be especially inspirational. In fact,
whenever I ask people what they really want to be, most provide me with one of three
answers; “Extremely rich”, “Angelina Jolie” or “I want to help people”. Whilst the second
right now. They don’t need a platform, a TV show or a million
answer indicates most people I ask are also menopausal women
dollars. A deep love for people is usually enough.
like myself, number three is actually the most common answer.
People mostly want to help other people. I know what they
• They share what they know. Inspirational people can often
mean - I want to help people too. That’s why I write books and
be great salespeople, but they will also be generous with their
take bookings as an “inspirational” speaker. But what’s the best
knowledge. They give hugs and smiles. They believe they and their
message have intrinsic worth in the world, so they don’t hold back
way to “help people”? And what is it exactly we think all those
for fear of failure or rejection.
people out there need help with?
It’s change. They need help to feel better, to see the unseen, to
learn the unknown, to move away from harm, to come close to
what heals. They need help to hold on, to let go, to rise up and
then come back down again. Change is about more than simply
knowing better. If it were that simple, giving people information
about how to change would be enough. But millions of dollars
are spent every year on weight loss programs by people trying to
lose weight, and the millions of dollars spent by those same
people putting the same weight right back on again tells us
change is not just about information. It’s about what we feel.
This is why we read books by courageous folks with harrowing
tales; why we listen to motivational speakers who hold us in the
palm of their hand; why we turn beautiful music up loud and
howl our broken hearts out. We know change cannot come just
with knowing something. We know we need to feel something.
We need to feel known. More than anything, we all want to be
seen, heard and understood. We want to know we are not alone
- someone else felt this way, saw this view and walked this path.
Inspiring others, therefore, means more than just telling people
what to do. It means being willing to talk about our failures as
well as our successes; our vulnerabilities as well as our strengths.
It’s taking people to the edge of our risk of losing everything, and
letting them feel what we felt when it happened. Inspiration is
filling others with an awareness of their capacity to change and
grow, by sharing about our own capacity to do exactly that.
Inspiration is saying, “I am human, and yet I am amazing, and
you, my friend, are just like me.”
•
They create community. Truly great people don’t hoard up
followers, or keep people all for themselves. Inspirational people
create dynamic communities and build networks, and sometimes
those networks don’t include themselves. They are not selfish with
people, and refer, cooperate and connect.
•
They look up. Truly inspirational people are always seeking the
spiritual in people and in the world. We are all connected, all
amazing and all capable of change, and these kinds of people
know this. Inspirational people believe they are not the highest
authority or presence in a room, and they are merely a facilitator
for the incredible magic that happens when people gather, agree
and celebrate their greatness.
•
They genuinely love people. The most inspirational people have
usually been broken at some point, almost beyond repair. Because
of this, they know what it feels like to be in pain, to be alone, to
be shamed and to be lost. Those who have known these kinds of
experiences sometimes never recover, but when they do, they are
frequently great lovers of fellow human beings. They are often
forgiven much, simply because they love so very much.
Being willing to stand before others and be our true selves in
the hopes we may inspire them, takes great courage. There
is certainly risk involved, as there always is when we dare
to believe we can do something extraordinary. It takes robust
self-confidence, but not that flashy, self-aggrandising kind. Truly
inspirational people are humble, and don’t have a need to be
made to feel special or important - they’re busy making others
feel that way.
My advice? Don’t seek greatness, expertise or uniqueness in the
hopes it will inspire others. Your knowledge is useless if people
Here are eight key things about inspirational people.
don’t feel you’re accessible. Don’t seek to know more on your
• They have a story. Inspiration isn’t about selling something. It’s not topic than anyone else, simply seek to grow your capacity to be
your product or program. It’s about you. Your story isn’t just the