MENTAL HEALTH
strengthen the relationships by learning effective ways to address the anger ( pain , loss , frustration or fears ).
The Bible has several verses about anger , “ Be angry , but do not sin . Do not let the sun go down on your anger ”.( Ephesians 4:26 ). That is important because anger harms us physically ( heart attacks , ulcers , difficulty sleeping-which can lead to depression , etc .). “ Let every man be quick to hear , slow to speak , and slow to anger ”.( James 1:19 ). God says to let go of anger because it hurts you !
We consider children , who bully , do not control anger or have temper tantrums , as immature . Yet many adults react in the same vindictive , temper tantrum throwing way . Adults exerting physical force or those who manipulate others are called abusive . Through their actions , they display unacknowledged feelings of low self-esteem . They are driven to ‘ display their power ’ over others to counteract feeling of worthlessness , helplessness , frustration , or to experience value within themselves .
To deal with anger , ‘ take a deep breath ’ and recognize that our bodies are giving us powerful signals . We must think through feelings and anger ( which is the secondary response to fear , loss , pain , or frustration ) and accept that we may be individually powerless . It may be difficult to admit we cannot control everything in life , accept that we may not be able to retaliate or punish others who do not respect us , our values , faith or even our way of life .
We can learn to express these feelings verbally , but first we must be honest with ourselves and willing to face and address the loss , fear , and frustration . To face a loss , we must accept the truth . We grieve , allow ourselves to feel anger , but also understand we can control , redirect , and USE our feelings constructively instead of reactively . We may have to learn to be strong enough to actually say , and mean it , “ I ’ m sorry for the way I acted and my anger ”.
If someone steps on my foot , I may quickly turn around to fight , as an instinctive , protective response . But what if I realize it ’ s my best friend who
stepped on my foot ? Am I able to control that anger ? Certainly . We all do it all the time .
“ It is a lot easier to be angry with someone than to tell them you ’ re hurt ”. Tom Gates
Let ’ s face life ’ s obstacles and trials , being as wise as possible in preventing traumatic situations , or playing into the hands of those who would make us lose control . Redirect powerful feelings of anger into productive actions ( helping a family in need , exercising , cleaning the garage !, volunteering at a local crisis shelter , organizing a fund raiser to help others ).
When crises occur , as they will , remember anger isn ’ t power , no matter how much it feels like it . Anger only goes so far before it destroys the carrier .
It is vital that individuals learn methods to effectively handle anger when it occurs ( as it will in life ), but it ’ s also very important that they also teach their teens and children effective ways to handle anger .
A pivotal time to teach young children is during the