MENTAL HEALTH
ANGER !
by Clifton Fuller ,
Clifton Fuller , LCSW , LPC , LMFT | Certified Anger Resolution TherapistInc .
I f you are struggling personally with anger , or know someone else who is having difficulty with this emotion , there are ways to address it and gain control .
Anger may feel like power but what are the true consequences ? What is the purpose of Anger ?
Anger is one letter short of Danger .
As we deal with stressful , traumatic , or life-changing events , we often experience very powerful emotions . Some initially experience shock , or a feeling of emotional detachment , to deal with emotions . Some may even experience unexpected bouts of tears at impromptu times when least expected . We may experience pain and our immediate reaction is anger ! We may just be so very frustrated that it erupts into sudden anger .
Anger is an emotion , but it is a ‘ secondary emotion ’ and always follows one ( or more ) of the following four emotions : 1 / Pain , 2 / Loss , 3 / Fear or 4 / Frustration .
One particularly difficult emotion is the feeling of ‘ powerlessness ’ or feeling like or being a victim . This feeling may lead to aggression , which turns into physical or verbal attacks of others . It may result in stereotyping or shunning ethnic , religious , or socio-economic groups . It may be expressed in vandalism of property , churches , homes , or businesses .
The ‘ fight or flight ’ response , instinctively felt following a trauma , dumps adrenalin into our bodies . The flight aspect of this response makes us feel weak , agitated , helpless , and small . We much prefer the feelings of anger , which make us feel more powerful , more ‘ in control ’. Our muscles become more rigid , our hearts beat faster , our eyes dilate , and our lungs expand .
Most people prefer to experience aggression rather than anxious thoughts .
Anger turned inward is depression . Anger turned outward is aggression .
Click here for Anger video , by Clifton Fuller , addressing importance of staying on ‘ issue level ’ rather than moving to ‘ relationship level ’ plus tips to identify & control anger .
When we feel anger , if not managed effectively & understood , then a person may seek an outlet for the agitation or ‘ tension ’ being felt . That may be a problem because instead of us controlling the anger , suddenly it is the anger controlling us .
Anger is a heavy , distracting emotion , causing us to focus myopically ( short-sighted focusing ).
It affects our hearts , health , minds , families , friends , and , yes , even our nation . If left unaddressed , it boils over into domestic violence , abuse , road rage , impulsive reactions , decisions made & later regretted , threats , medical difficulties and hostility .
There are several immediate things we can do : breathe deeply ( counting to 10 actually works ), force yourself to ‘ unclench ’ your body , hands and teeth ( breathing deeply also helps us to relax ) and allow yourself time to think before responding .
It may help to distance yourself in situations that generate repeated anger . This may even mean changing a work environment or job if you find it sets the stage for ongoing anger or ‘ triggers to anger ’. That is more difficult to do with couples or in families , so conflict resolution skills must be developed in order to