Mental Health
New Year , or any time , can bring Change !
by Clifton Fuller ,
Clifton Fuller , LCSW , LPC , LMFT | Certified Anger Resolution Therapist Inc .
L et ’ s talk about “ New Year , New Day , New Change ”
We all know the drill by now … a New Year , New Resolutions .
If you ’ re older , especially , you may still feel the pressure to make a big , sweeping change in your life , to finally fix the ONE THING that ’ s been holding you back from success , or money , or love . Buuuuut , we ’ ve also done this before ; where we set goals for ourselves , and bail on ‘ em in a month or two . Too hard . Too painful . Too tiring . Too much rejection .
Now , there ’ s a whole philosophical debate about the cultural importance of the New Year , but we ’ re going to skip all of that today . A New Year IS an opportunity , and we like to strike when the iron is hot ! The New Year is as good a time as any to make a change in your life , and vice versa . We ’ ll have a little bit more on that later , but this is the important part ; Don ’ t wait for an event to start changing , START NOW .
Most folks don ’ t make resolutions anymore , and of the vast majority that do , around 90 %, drop them early . The hard truth is that we , as humans , attach importance to patterns . We make traditions , form little rituals , even when they seem innocuous . We like to get coffee the same way , at around the same time , every morning , and we ’ re troubled when we don ’ t . The lesson we can get from that is that Homeostasis , or the idea there is a “ Normal ” that we will reset to , matters . Patterns of behavior matter . Humans are creatures of habit , and change is difficult . Before we get too down on ourselves , however , let ’ s set some ground rules .
You ’ re different . You ’ re special . You ’ re smarter , because the biggest thing that we ’ re going to change is the WAY we think about change .
The fundamental thing we must keep in mind is that the circumstances of our lives don ’ t really change . There will always be stress , responsibilities , decisions that need to be made in an instant , and they will come at you when you feel the LEAST capable of handling them . These moments of stress WILL spook us into reverting to our previous habits , the things that gave us comfort , the patterns of behavior that we ’ ve set as our standard responses to them .