can manage to make it work. It’s a great way to show that you don’t take
yourself too seriously, while still maintaining a cool detachment from the
larger cultural field that tells other people that they should still continue
taking you very seriously.
PATRICK MCWILLIAMS
Given the dizzying speed of today’s fast-paced music business, trying
to curate one’s tastes to accurately project the appearance of a hip and
informed individual is a full time job. Thankfully, Rubberneck’s “Good or
Bad” is here to help you navigate through the minefield of contemporary
cultural ephemera and reach the demilitarized zone of cool. Remember kids,
in a dying empire with ever decreasing political options, defining yourself
in terms of consumer choices is one of the last avenues of expression left!
Radical!
So without further ado, here’s our guide to the latest trends shaping our
world.
Jorts:
Along with the blooming of flowers and the return of seasonal birds, the
annual shearing of jeans signals to all the true start of springtime. Those
frayed threads of denim haphazardly hanging from an incompetently
hacked pant leg express the possibilities of the season, and bring smiles to
the faces of all who see them. People all over the world stand in admiration
when they see a bejorted individual walk by, thinking “Now there goes one
cool and breezy motherfucker.”
Good or Bad? Good. Some things in this world will just never go out of
style because they express eternal truths and connect us all to our shared
humanity. Jorts just may be one of the few truly pure things we have left in
this world.
At first, it may seem counterintuitive to differentiate yourself from the
crowd by mimicking its tastes, except overlaid with a mustache of irony.
Yet that hair-thin veneer makes all the difference in the world. The
contradiction makes you appear as a complex and multifaceted individual
(and individuality is totally “in” right now), who can’t be neatly penned in
like the rest of those sheeple. Rather, you’re a bold trendsetter, who, like
an ICBM or hedge fund manager’s bank account, cavalierly crosses borders
without regard for what anything might “mean.” Remember, it’s not
superficial if there really is nothing at all genuine left beneath it.
Good or Bad? Good, but with the caveat that you always take care to
ensure that your appreciation doesn’t read as sincere which could have
the disastrous consequence of people mistaking you for a norm of square.
Protip: wink knowingly whenever you put on pop music, and then commence
making an incredulous face whic