Everyone seems to like my band a lot, but I’m
really bored with it. Do I stay with the band just
because we’re popular?
Stay with the band if you’re making money.
Because money is the only thing that will make you
happy.
Do you think I’ll get laid more if I grow a beard?
Depends how getting laid with Yogi Bear feels? It
works for my friend Alan. Free muff rides on the
chin chin, mop it up.
My dog doesn’t like me much. How can I win her
over?
Throw yer dog a bone sometimes. I love bones,
if you eat bbq, save the leftovers for your dog. If
you’re a vegan, then let the dog lick between your
pinky and index toes. Toe jam will relight the flame
between you and your child blocker...excuse me,
dog.
What’s a good way to propose to my girlfriend?
So it turns out I have to go to jail for 30 days. Any
tips?
Jail sux. The only tip I have for you is, go before 5
pm on Friday, and bring some money. When you turn
yourself in, the jail will add up what is owed and may
let you just go home and not sit in jail. That’s what
I did. If you check in before 5, then by midnight it
counts as a new day. Once yer in, read a lot of books
about not being a sum sum. Good luck. Just don’t act
scared. Be tuff and nice.
How can I get people to donate to my Kickstarter?
Kickstarter, shit ...depends what for. Man the internet
gets weirder and weirder. Why not work hard and save
up the money? ww.lazystarter.com
I think I might be gay...how can I tell for sure?
If you are not sure if you’re gay then, well, ask
yourself many questions.....musicals? Taste of penus?
Taste of vj? American Idol? The governor of Texas?
Be super sweet and say “shut the fuck up bitch
will you marry me” while you fart on her face. Love
baby! Love. Then go to Italy.
If you’ve read issue 7 of Rubberneck, you already know how much we
enjoyed the debut Shocked Minds album on HoZac. When they played
our issue release party in September, we were happy to find out that
they’re just as good live. We caught up with them later on that tour
and spoke with them at Gonerfest…or, to be [ܙHX