" When you’ re there, when you’ re stewing in the shock of failure and loss, when you’ re convinced you’ re stuck, when you’ re convinced there’ s no way forward, just remember: there’ s a staircase you’ re not seeing."
TRUST THE PROCESS
" When you’ re there, when you’ re stewing in the shock of failure and loss, when you’ re convinced you’ re stuck, when you’ re convinced there’ s no way forward, just remember: there’ s a staircase you’ re not seeing."
- Neil Pastricha
Even Gilbert— the famed Harvard psychologist and professor, the author of best-selling books such as Stumbling on Happiness— even he forgets that the rest of the staircase is invisible. He went through a flop or two and figured,“ Well, darn, my life’ s gonna suck forever.” But it didn’ t.
Inevitably, everything we go through in life really is a step to help us get to a better place.
It’ s hard to see it this way. But we have to, because this study helps us realize we’ re prone to catastrophizing. That alone should be enough to zoom backward in your brain and go,“ Wait a minute here. I’ m tricking myself! Who’ s to say I won’ t get out of the basement? Meet someone new? Land a plum gig I love?”
See it as a step.
Gilbert ended up figuring out that when it comes to predicting the future, we’ re all stupid. Each and every one of us.
Doesn’ t that feel better?
This research reminded me of an HR job I had where I had to escort bosses into meeting rooms whenever they had to fire an employee. I was there for paperwork, for witnessing, for emotional support. I was in the room when dozens of people got fired, and it was awful. There were tears and wet tissues and many afternoons when I’ d be consoling someone in a freezing parking lot as they loaded up their trunk with framed pictures from their desk saying,“ I thought I’ d be here forever” and“ What am I going to do now?” and“ I’ ll never find another job.”
Those scenes left me heartbroken. I lost a lot of sleep over them.
Sometimes I’ d bump into the former employees years later. And what did they tell me?“ Getting fired was the best thing that happened to me! If I hadn’ t gotten that severance package, I never would have had those crucial six months to spend with my dad before he died.”
Or:“ I traveled to Peru and became a nutritional supplement importer, and I love what I’ m doing now!”
Or:“ I’ m working at a smaller company now, and I’ ve gotten promoted twice in two years!”
Or:“ I used my severance pay to take the time to be with my daughter and son-in-law in the months after her third miscarriage.”
18 • SpectrumInsGroup. com