13 Habits Of Exceptionally Likeable People BY DR . TRAVIS BRADBERRY
Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural , unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few — the good looking , the fiercely social , and the incredibly talented . It ’ s easy to fall prey to this misconception . In reality , being likeable is under your control , and it ’ s a matter of emotional intelligence ( EQ ).
In a study conducted at UCLA , subjects rated over 500 adjectives based on their perceived significance to likeability . The top-rated adjectives had nothing to do with being gregarious , intelligent , or attractive ( innate characteristics ). Instead , the top adjectives were sincerity , transparency , and capacity for understanding ( another person ).
These adjectives , and others like them , describe people who are skilled in the social side of emotional intelligence . TalentSmart research data from more than a million people shows that people who possess these skills aren ’ t just highly likeable , they outperform those who don ’ t by a large margin .
We did some digging to uncover the key behaviors that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them so likeable . Here are 13 of the best :
1 . THEY ASK QUESTIONS
The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is they ’ re so focused on what they ’ re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear what ’ s being said . The words come through loud and clear , but the meaning is lost .
A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions . People like to know you ’ re listening , and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening , you also care about what they ’ re saying . You ’ ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions .
2 . THEY PUT AWAY THEIR PHONES
Nothing will turn someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone . When you commit to a conversation , focus all of your energy on the conversation . You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them .
3 . THEY ARE GENUINE
Being genuine and honest is essential to being likeable . No one likes a fake . People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them . It is difficult to like someone when you don ’ t know who they really are and how they really feel .
Likeable people know who they are . They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin . By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual , you become a much more interesting person than if you attempt to win people over by making choices that you think will make them like you .
4 . THEY DON ’ T PASS JUDGMENT
If you want to be likeable you must be open-minded . Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others . No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen .
Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace where approachability means access to new ideas and help . To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment , you need to see the world through other people ’ s eyes . This doesn ’ t require you believe what they believe or condone their behavior , it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick . Only then can you let them be who they are .
5 . THEY DON ’ T SEEK ATTENTION
People are averse to those who are desperate for attention . You don ’ t need to develop a big , extroverted personality to be likeable . Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over . When you speak in a friendly , confident , and concise manner , you will notice that people are much more attentive and persuadable than if you try to show them you ’ re important . People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what — or how many people — you know .
When you ’ re being given attention , such as when you ’ re being recognized for an accomplishment , shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help you get there . This may sound cliché , but if it ’ s