Risk & Business Magazine JGS Insurance Magazine Spring 2019 | Page 20

MOTIVATION
YOU DON'T NEED MOTIVATION TO
TO
START
YOUR
START
ON ON
YOUR
PATH TO
TO SUCCESS
SUCCESS
PATH
BY: NEIL PASRICHA, AUTHOR
BY: NEIL PASRICHA, AUTHOR
I
never learned to swim as a kid.
Ear infections dotted my childhood,
so I was outfitted with never-ending
sets of tubes. Swimming lessons
became skating lessons when I got
fancy rubber molded earplugs and a
plastic cap for showering.
I was afraid of swimming and became
good at avoiding it. Why didn’t I swim?
First, I didn’t think I could swim. Second,
I didn’t want to swim. Strapping on
a bathing suit meant showing off my
spaghetti arms and man boobs. It meant
getting cold and wet and chlorine-y
and showering and changing afterward.
Why? Exercise could be done in other
ways. As I got older, I told myself the best
conversations at the pool party were at
the barbecue. And I didn’t live near an
ocean. So I convinced myself swimming
was a waste of time.
What are the two barriers we place
in front of our least desirable tasks?
Capability and motivation. In other
words, can’t do it and don’t want to,
anyway! It looks like this:
Can Do → Want To Do → Do.
Everything changed in a flash when I fell
in love with Leslie over a few months.
We’re married today, but it was only a
few dates in when she started telling me
one night how much she loved to swim.
“It’s my favorite thing to do in the world,”
she said. “The water just feels like home.”
“Not me,” I said, disappointed. “I don’t
swim. Not a big fan.”
20
“Oh, that’s too bad,” she said. “You see, my
family has had a cottage, for generations,
on an island. Every morning the 20 of
us — my 80-year-old grandparents, my
10-year-old cousins — jump in the lake
and swim around the island.”
She gave an Obama-like pregnant pause
and then said:
“I guess you can’t come.”
That night, for the first time in more 30
years, I signed up for swimming lessons.
Suddenly, without thinking whether I
could do it or whether I wanted to do it, I
just did it.
I signed up for an adult learn-to-swim
program, offered by the city of Toronto,
at the Trinity Bellwoods pool. A few
weeks later, I was walking onto the pool
deck with my heart thumping. I felt like
running away. But I ended up learning
one of the most valuable lessons of my
life instead.
What happened?
Well, within two minutes, I realized I
fit in. Who was with me? People with
traumatic experiences. People from
landlocked countries. I wasn’t the worst
swimmer in the group, for once. We
all sucked. Trust formed quickly. The
instructor asked us to flutter-kick, with
our life-jackets on, in the shallow end.
That was it. The next week, we moved
to the deep end. A month later, I was
treading water. And by the end of eight
weeks, I was doing the front crawl.
How did I learn to swim in only a few
hours when I was terrified of it my whole
life?
Well, here’s what happened. After my
first swimming lesson, the idea that I
might be able to swim crept into my
head. I thought I could do this. And the
thrill of flutter-kicking in the shallow
end gave me motivation to go back next
week and see what else I could do. I
wanted to swim now. I love moldy locker
rooms. Give me the flutter board. I was
desperate to get back.
My Do Line changed from this:
Can Do → Want To Do → Do
To this:
Do → Can Do → Want To Do
Instead of finishing at Do, I started
there. And that made me think I could
do it. And that made me want to do it.
Everything happens backward. You start
doing and confidence and motivation
follow.
The Do Circle completely reverses how
most of us operate every day. We think
we need ability and motivation before
action. Otherwise, we’ll fail. It’s how I
thought about swimming for years.
What’s wrong with that thinking?
Well, it keeps undesirable tasks
undesirable because we place our
ability to get them done way down the
mine tunnel at the end of the rickety
railways of self-confidence (Can Do) and
inspiration (Want to Do). What happens?
Our most desirable tasks are placed with
big mental barriers dropped in front of
them.