Risk & Business Magazine General Insurance Services Spring 2020 | Page 24

SAYING NO
5
BY: MICHAEL BUNGAY
STANIER, FOUNDER OF
BOX OF CRAYONS
Things You Can Say
No To Right Now
I
’m generally an accommodating
person, so saying no hasn’t always
been my strong suit. It’s all too easy
to shove another yes into the bag of
our overcommitted lives, trusting
that in a Harry Potter magical sort of way
it will somehow all work itself out.
But the fact is we can’t say yes to
everything. It’s been a real objective of
mine to find ways to say no, in order to
make room for another yes in my life.
You can’t always rely on willpower —
sometimes you need to build up your
defences. One of the best ways is to
change your environment to one that
allows you to do just that. For instance, if
you don’t want to eat ice cream anymore,
don’t keep any in the house. Essentially,
you’re changing your behavior.
Sometimes it’s hard to say no, but other
times it’s a bit easier. Here are five things
you can start saying no to immediately
that can help alter your environment,
change your behavior and have a positive
impact on the way you live.
1. SAY NO TO DRAINING
RELATIONSHIPS 4. SAY NO TO FEELING LIKE YOU’RE
“GOOD BUSY”
Recognize that not all people nourish you.
Some will drain your energy, and there is
no room for those kind of soul-sucking
relationships. You know the support
system you have and who lights you up.
Keep those people close and let the others
go. Do you catch yourself telling people you’re
very busy, only to follow that up with
“But it’s a good busy”? Being busy does
not equate to success. It likely means that
you’re overcommitted and overwhelmed,
or worse yet, that you haven’t figured out
what really matters. Say no more often
and yes more slowly.
2. SAY NO TO BEING PERFECT
Not everything needs to be done with
excellence. Oftentimes, being adequate is
just fine, if not even better than fine. It’s
stressful always trying to be perfect and,
quite frankly, it’s just not worth it. Accept
that perfection is not always needed for
success.
3. SAY NO TO TOO MUCH EMAIL
Email itself is not work. It should be
seen as a means to an end, a way to
communicate. Don’t get trampled by the
email beast! Use it to your advantage, and
don’t let it get the better of you. Tame the
beast.
5. SAY NO TO BEING SO SERIOUS
ABOUT IT ALL
Remember to have fun. Say no to feeling
like you need to be serious 100 percent
of the time. There’s a time and a place for
seriousness, of course, but there should
always be time for fun too. Don’t forget to
have fun.
Stop the rush to action. Say no when it
means you can better define a yes. Ask
yourself what matters and decide what
doesn’t. +
Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder of Box of Crayons, a company that champions coaching as a force for leadership
development and culture change. They teach managers leaders practical tools so they can coach in 10 minutes or less. On
the way to founding Box of Crayons in 2002, Michael lived in Australia, England, the United States and Canada, his current
home. He has written a number of books. His latest, the Wall Street Journal best seller The Coaching Habit, has sold over
half a million copies. It has been praised as one of the few business books that actually makes people laugh out loud.
BoxOfCrayons.com
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