Risk & Business Magazine California Risk & Business Magazine Summer 2017 - Page 12

IRRESISTIBLE PEOPLE T oo many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few—the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. Some people, regardless of what they lack— money, looks, or social connections—always radiate with energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical individuals find themselves enamored with these charming individuals. These people are the life of every party. They’re the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship. You just can’t get enough of them, and they leave you asking yourself, “What do they have that I don’t? What makes them so irresistible?” The difference? Their sense of self-worth comes from within. Irresistible people aren’t constantly searching for validation, because they’re confident enough to find it in themselves. There are certain habits they pursue every day to maintain this healthy perspective. Since being irresistible isn’t the result of dumb luck, it’s time to study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit. Get ready to say “hello” to a new, more irresistible you. THEY FOCUS ON PEOPLE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE Irresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they don’t spend much time thinking about themselves. They don’t obsess over how well they’re liked, because they’re too busy focusing on the people they’re with. It’s what makes their irresistibility seem so effortless. To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smart phone and focusing on the people you’re with. Focus on what they’re saying, not what your response will be, or how what they’re saying will affect you. WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THEMSELVES, FOLLOW UP WITH OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS TO DRAW THEM OUT EVEN MORE. THEY ARE AUTHENTIC Irresistible people are who they are. Nobody has to burn up energy or brainpower trying to guess their agenda or predict what they’ll do next. They do this because they know that no one likes a fake. People gravitate toward authentic individuals because they know they can trust them. It’s easy to resist someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. THEY FIND REASONS TO LOVE LIFE Irresistible people are positive and passionate. They’re never bored, because they see life as an amazing adventure and approach it with a joy that other people want to be a part of. It’s not that irresistible people don’t have problems—even big ones—but they approach problems as temporary obstacles, not inescapable fate. When things go wrong, they remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they keep hope that tomorrow or next week or next month will be better. THEY DITCH THE SMALL TALK There’s no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming during a conversation than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach people with small talk this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Irresistible people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told to other important facets of the speaker’s life. THEY TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT Whether interacting with their biggest client or a server taking their drink order, irresistible people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that—no matter how nice they are to the Unmistakable Habits of Irresistible People 12