RISE, A Modern Guide for the Purpose Driven Woman Summer 2014 | Page 50

ra·di·ance
noun

Knowing and living your soul’s gifts connected and listening to God as you follow and
express this path in every aspect of your life. We all have the radiant light within and
our mission is to uncover this radiance living life from the inside out.

JB: When you look back to your youth, was there a clear path to success that you thought you’d follow?
CH: When I was little I loved summer camp. I wanted to stay all summer. I realized at a young age our family was different. At least that’s what I thought then. As I got older I learned that everyone has “stuff ”. Our family had a generational
pattern of alcoholism and I knew at an early age my mom drank too much and it affected us. She loved us but the alcoholism was like a poison that affected every part of my life. I felt I wasn’t being good enough because if I was she wouldn’t
drink and my Dad wouldn’t be mad when she did. It was a cycle that my little mind rationalized was my fault. I didn’t
feel good enough. I was shy. I became a bully. I was insecure and I sucked my thumb until 5th grade. I had buck teeth. I
was afraid and I didn’t want to tell people too much because I didn’t think they would like me and I really didn’t trust
very much.
Here is my path in a nutshell:
* High school – I wanted to be pathologist, and assisted with an autopsy at 16. I smoked too much pot, and partied a lot
and didn’t have the grades so I gave up on the idea of medical school. I got lost in unworthiness, not feeling good enough
or loving myself.
*Going to college – I majored in English and Pre-Law, thinking that I wanted to be an attorney.
*Deathly afraid of public speaking so took a speech class in college – I threw up 6 x before going to class to give my first
speech. I graduated in 1988 moved to DC worked on Capitol Hill until 1993 - I realized I am not meant to work certain
hours or in an office. I needed to move around and I really wanted to help people. I didn’t feel like we were helping, just
making deals behind closed doors.
*Got my group fitness instructor and personal training certification - had to teach and speak with a microphone… which
was a big step!
*At 30 got divorced, big healing realized marriage is a 2 way street and that I was being my mom in my marriage and not
myself. I started a real healing journey. I started riding horses, taking lessons, jumping and showing horses for the first
time when I was 27. I felt confident, free and at peace with these powerful animals I had been afraid of at summer camp.
This confidence gave me the courage to get divorced at 30. I realized I was repeating a generational pattern of control
and that wasn’t really me and it was time for change. This was my first sense of conscious awareness that I could actually
choose how to live my life. I had chosen before but I was such a rebel that I just wanted some control over my life. At 30,
I saw that my choices created my life from inside of me and it wasn’t about blaming anything on the outside.
*I met Luke at a wedding and fell in love. I moved to California to be with him. He freaked a little because my horse arrived first so he knew this was really happening. We’ve been together 16 years and he’s my soul mate. He saw my inner
beauty and reflected it to me so I could see too. California was about freedom – freedom to be me. I got my first tattoo
to symbolize this and I’ve got more that really reflect the me on the inside. I’m a seeker so I knew I needed to explore
and detach from what I had grown up with including my family for a while. I can say now that I love my family and I am
grateful for all we experienced as it’s shown me my path and my radiance to share with the world.