Rhode Island Monthly April 2020 | Page 57

E V E RY B O D Y K N OW S This Is Nowhere An attempt to get lost in a small, crowded place. By J O H N TA R A B O R E L L I T  Illustration by V I N C E N T Z AWA D A H E M I D D L E O F NOW H E R E D I N E R L I V E S U P T O I T S NA M E BY M O ST Rhode Islanders’ standards. Located in an assuming red building along Nooseneck Hill Road in Exeter, it’s just down the road from Big River Management Area and a stone’s throw from Arcadia Management Area on the other side of Route 95, two of the state’s largest and most unspoiled stretches of nature. The diner is the type of place where guys arrive in Super Duties and belly up to the counter in their blaze orange hats and camo pants to enjoy a hearty breakfast or lunch. It serves typical diner fare with a Rhode Island accent; you can get a plate of eggs, home fries and toast or a turkey club, but also a chicken parm sandwich or a cup of clear chowder. There’s a sign on the wall extolling the virtues of country life. It’s not exactly rural Appalachia, but compared to most of the state, it’s off the beaten path. Despite that bucolic charm, “Middle of Nowhere” is per- haps a bit hyperbolic. It’s less than five minutes from 95. A handful of other businesses dot the relatively well-trafficked stretch of Route 3 between Victory Highway and Ten Rod Road, including its sister establishment, Next to Nowhere Creamery. Then there’s the ultimate mark of somewhere-ness, at least in Rhode Island: It’s less than a mile from the nearest Dunkin’. In fairness, “Slightly Out of the Way Diner” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I arrive at the Middle of Nowhere in search of, well, nowhere — or more accurately, for a late-morning respite from my quest for nowhere. It seems like a logical stop along a journey that began with a question: Is there truly a middle of no- where in Rhode Island, a corner of the state so far-flung that  RHODE ISLAND MONTHLY l APRIL 2020     55