RHG Magazine & TV Guide TM - New Year 2019 © All rights reserved.
at all!
Well, I was moving right along when one of the troops asked a question about the Medal of Honor, and I gave the wrong answer. Later at my evaluation, the senior officer matter-of-factly tapped her papers, looked at me sternly and said, “You know you made a big mistake and I have to give
you a failing mark, don’t you?” Of course, I said, “Yes, Ma’am.” I thought I had lost my job. Was I relieved when she said she would re-evaluate another class before making a performance decision.
Having “failed” I learned something very important about me and how I teach. Memorizing a script was not my strong suit. So I decided to turn the material into an outline with the key points highlighted. I wanted to have a dialogue with my classes, not a lecture - to connect and make a difference.
Now, I could have given up teaching and asked for a transfer somewhere else. But I didn’t. I took this failure and learned from it. I was close to success, this position was something I wanted, and I did not give up. Edison also said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” This was an empowering message I have taken to heart ever since.
Believe me, this wasn’t my only “failure,” including a senior partner in a Network Marketing company telling me I was destroying my business with what I was doing! At first I felt two emotional choices: 1) You are so angry that you quit, or 2) You are so devastated that you quit. Instead, I followed Edison’s words and set about to change what I was doing.
Failure is an important part of leadership. Each decision you make as a leader will either work or not work. Every time you step out boldly and unapologetically, you risk “failing.” It can be painful - believe me, I know. But you couldn’t know then what you know now from
having had that experience. Remember, historically women have not been encouraged or even allowed to step out of the supportive role and into leadership, to take risks, to try something new. Many of us are venturing into unknown territory – so mistakes WILL be made.
This is why I hold space for women to create their vision and bring it into reality, to move steadily forward and avoid pitfalls if possible, and to support their successes as well as their “failures.”
Another fascinating way to look at failure comes from Dr. Cheryl Lentz, author of Fail Faster, Succeed Sooner, who tells us that “many believe that one hires someone for their expertise. This is not quite complete. One hires someone for their ability to have learned from their failure to ensure that when they come to fix your problem with their expertise, they fix your problem the right way, the first time.” So, by failing you are doing a great service to the world!
Ways to face your fear of failure:
Think about failure in a different way; like a powerful tool in your possession to move you toward success, in control of your choices and the situations that may throw you off-track.
When it does happen, recognize the failure for what it is, but reframe it as a lesson and not a tragedy or a flaw in you.
Hold yourself accountable to using the situation to learn from and become stronger as a result.
As you lead others and develop team relationships, be vulnerable enough to share your stories of success, failures, and overcoming adversity or obstacles - so others may learn from you.
Ultimately, it’s about choice - it always is. You can choose to be beaten down by your fears and failures, or you can choose to respond purposefully. Remember, each time you “fail” is a blessing, not a curse; they are sources of power and lessons which you can integrate into your life to become a better leader and a better individual.
“Failure is a reality; we all fail at times, and it's painful when we do. But it's better to fail while striving for something wonderful, challenging, adventurous, and uncertain than to say, ‘I don't want to try because I may not succeed completely.’”
― Jimmy Carter, Sources of Strength: Meditations on Scripture for a Living Faith
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