Self-Esteem, the Foundation of a Thriving Life
If I could tell parents to help their teen develop one “superpower” it would be self-esteem. It is the sturdy foundation all of us need to evolve into the best version of ourselves, accomplish what we set out to do, and to feel worthy and capable in our lives. In other words — to thrive!
I have observed in the teens I work with that self-esteem and self-confidence can often get confused and can hold them back from thriving. Let’s unpack the meanings.
“Confidence” is the condition of having trust within oneself, a belief in one’s abilities and skills. “Self-esteem” concerns one’s feelings of self-worth, self-value, and lovability. One can be confident in skills and abilities, yet still not feel an overall love or satisfaction with themselves.
For example, we have Amirah, a high school junior who got excellent grades, starred in varsity softball, was popular and involved in many school activities. Yet, in our work together we found that Amirah was frantically ‘performing’ for approval (perfectionism) but still felt unworthy, not enough, unloved and unlovable.
Confidence and self-esteem work hand-in-hand. High self-esteem gives us courage to take
healthy risks, thus, it boosts our confidence because we learn about a new ability or skill we
didn’t know existed before. Likewise, greater confidence can enhance our self-esteem,
building a positive perception of our self-worth.
Students who base their self-worth on external circumstances, such as academic performance, appearance, and approval from others, feel more anger and stress. As a result, they tend to do more poorly in school and have more conflict in relationships. They also have more substance use than students with healthier self-worth.
As teens explore and test their self-image and self-perception, what primarily informs them are the messages they receive from adults. As a parent or mentor of teens, you are one of their biggest influencers; your messages play a huge role in shaping their self-esteem,
RHG Magazine & TV Guide TM - April 2020 © All rights reserved.