Life experiences come in all shapes and sizes. As simple as the annoyance of spilled milk to the test of our resilience by a catastrophic illness or disease.
It’s how we respond to these challenges. It’s how we show up for ourselves that really prove our true self-worth.
I had dreams of becoming an actress, a dancer, and a writer. Growing up in a small town and never taking a dance lesson (I was terribly shy and not naturally graceful), the chances of
dancing or acting on stage were slim. I was a stationary figure portraying the Virgin Mary in elementary school pageants. Yes, typecasting, I know. However, I knew the writing was already happening as I’d been journaling for years. Whether anyone else had faith in me or not, I had faith in myself!
That dream came true. I use that gift to shine my light and help illuminate the gifts of others. However, life happens and there are bumps in the road.
Women are the nurturer in society. We tend to be caregivers. We are the ones who will sacrifice our wants and needs, often at the expense of our own happiness and health, to fill a void for others. This may be at the request of others. More often than not (and I include myself in this sticky challenge), it is a role we take on of our own making. Not because we see ourselves as some kind of saint or martyr. It’s because we don’t see anyone else stepping up. We tell ourselves, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”
Although the scenarios vary, the result is that we become the self-appointed savior. The children will suffer if we don’t raise money for school uniforms because we didn’t hold the bake sale, so we had to chair the committee. The church roof won’t get repaired before the winter rains if we don’t organize the fundraising campaign. Or, your son (daughter/mother/family member) who needs help will suffer because we didn’t step in to fix things.
We may have felt overworked, taken advantage of, and perhaps become ill because we were trying to do it all ourselves.
Does any of that sound familiar?
I propose a different scenario.
What if we assess the situation and dream up a list of suggestions on how to resolve the situation. Or at least ideas to manage the initial problem rather than a full-blown solution?
Or better still, what if you assembled a group think tank to brainstorm ideas to address whatever dilemma is currently at hand?
How would it be if you engaged others in discussing the situation with no agenda other than problem-solving?
What if this was shared responsibilities instead of taking on the attitude that “if I don’t do it,
Are you the only one willing to risk your health and happiness for this cause? Is it worth it?
Sharing your light includes setting boundaries.