E
ven in my near-late twenties I still get the overwhelming
urge to run, scream, giggle and overly blush around
guys I like - symptoms that started when I hit my early
teens and sadly they won’t go away. Often I wonder if
the ‘boy meets girl’ scenario can or ever could be calm and
cool? The amount of energy I put into trying to act casual
around my crushes is unbearably tiring and feels a lot like
self-inflicted torture! I just don’t understand where this overgirly demon comes from - and will I ever exorcise her and her
expectations?! Due to a questionable amount of brainwashing
love-content in movies and series, as well as music, we’ve
been led to believe love is simply falling into a hunk’s arms
and the rest is magical history. Why aren’t conversations
always witty and exciting as they are in movies or novels?
Why can’t fights turn into romantic and passionate makeups (Fifty shades of Grey anyone?) and most importantly,
why can’t most men buy flowers and boxes of chocolates?
(A bar of chocolate should never count!!!) Between my overromantic demon and not so romantic suitors I often wonder if
I am expecting too much from this animal called love. Why is
it so darn complicated and hard to tame? Why should I even
be writing this rant? Shouldn’t love be the easiest and most
natural thing for us beings? But alas, it seems the saying men
are from mars and women are from venus is true - sadly it has
been a fact for centuries! But what about the love portrayed
in the media? Somehow my subconscious always refuses to
believe love is bland or is this my brainwashed-self talking?
Geez - see what I meant by complicated.
For a world with two sexes apparently meant for each other
we often come off as incompatible - It’s true! Sometimes I
wonder why we are even meant for each other when most
relationships are filled with chaos - from fights, cheating
and down-right childish behaviour! Now I know at this point
I sound negative and 99% pessimist but I’m not writing to
mock love as you’ll see - soon.
expect too much and to us they offer too little! It seems like
the whole human race is at a stale mate when it comes to
love. Each sex in its own trench and going nowhere! Sounds
depressing - I know! I, like most girls, am a hopeless romantic
and most men are - well - not hopeless romantics (quoting
song lyrics is far from romantic - it must be a Mars thing). But
it has also dawned on me that this statement means we do
know each other - more than we think!
Of course the media has forcefully given us false information
regarding how we should engage in love. It has turned our
individual wants and desires into a singular and calculated
need. To tell the honest truth, I’d never “need” a man to open
my car door if I hadn’t seen or heard about it from somewhere
else! Why should I allow someone else’s experiences
determine what I should find romantically acceptable? I’d
take a plate of donuts over flowers any day but this isn’t
ro mantic - at least this hasn’t featured in a movie, so it can’t
possibly be! The problem isn’t love, it’s the fact that we’ve
lost our individualism when it comes to love. Take it from a
guy’s perspective - why buy a girl flowers when she hardly
mentions them or even does gardening? I can understand
how we confuse men by wanting affection through things we
never give two seconds of thought on! And why should we
women spend hours obsessing over our looks for men who
most likely like us the way we are - curves, fat and all?
The real problem is we don’t know how to romantically love!
Instead of living in the moment we live for the moment - eager
to have our hearts taken when we ourselves don’t know how
to give them away for love. My theory is to dispose of all the
romantic-nonsense you’ve been exposed to and make your
own story! Ask yourself what you want. So what if you’re
single at 30 and don’t mind? And so what if you don’t want a
romantic dinner but would rather stay in and cuddle all night?
Love is a personal experience, a choice, and you need to
understand this if you are going to enjoy it!
My grandmother used to look down on pointing fingers, a trait
I’ve kept to this day. It would be easy for me to say men are to
blame and yes - I would probably come up with valid points
to support my claim but it would also be the same if the roles
were to change. To men, we too seem like the problem - we
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