Q & A
Q: My live-in boyfriend of two years told me
we need “space”. He said we argue too often
and he wants us to take time and think about
what we both want out of the relationship.
I am crushed. He’s the love of my life. I’ll do
anything to keep our relationship. Is this
doomed to fail?
Say It’s Not Too Late
A: Hang in there, girl, relationships are tough!
First thing’s first – you are not doomed. Taking
time to yourself can be a good thing. You’re two
years in, it’s common for the honeymoon phase
to start to lose its shine around 30 months,
according to a New York University study.* It
can be unnerving when the cute quirks your
other half has start turning into annoying
habits, and arguments may ensue. The big
positive here: you have a partner that has the
e.q. to want to take time to gather thoughts
and work on the relationship. Things to do
during this time:
Think! – He’s asking for time for you to both
think, so do it. Where is the real disconnect
here? Where do you feel your needs aren’t
being met? This is an opportunity for you to be
transparent with one another without risk of
backlash. Use the moment to be honest about
what you need out of the relationship, and
work together on a plan to satisfy those needs.
Listen. – You may feel defensive when
his requests seem like picks at your flaws.
Understand that they’re not. (If he says things
like “you’re stupid” or “you’re useless” or “I
do nothing wrong, this relationship would
be perfect if you didn’t x, y, z….” immediately
end both the conversation and possibly the
relationship.) He deserves the same amount of
safe space for openness as you do. Listen to his
concerns and, again, work together to come up
with an action plan.
Be patient with each other. – This is arguably
the most important piece of the relationship
puzzle. You’re asking one another to adjust
habits that likely come naturally to you. This
will not be an easy adjustment to make, but if
you’re focused on a 180, you’re missing the real
point. The point here is for each of you to feel
your partner listened to you. Make conscious
efforts to respect each other, and forgive the
occasional lapse. Understand neither of you are
perfect, and probably wouldn’t love each other
so much if you were.
Q: I chose the wrong major. I graduated in the
winter with a degree in nursing, I’m 3 months
into my job and I hate every second of it. I’m
afraid I’ve made a terrible mistake, but the
thought of going back to school is horrifying.
What do I do!?
opportunities to move in the direction
Next, figure out execution. Here’s where
things can get tricky. Mr. Perfect himself,
Dwayne “The Rock’ Johnson, once said,
“Remember, we can have everything we want
in life. We just gotta be willing to put in the
work and be open to how to get it.”
I’ve never agreed with anything more. My
point is that your path may not be an easy
one. Maybe you’ll have to make sacrifices on
timing, maybe you’ll have to take a pay cut,
maybe you’ll have to demote yourself. My
advice? Never stop working for what truly
makes you happy. It’s worth it in the end!
Forever is A Long Time
A: Welcome to adulthood, my friend. The
beautiful thing about having control of your
own life: you always have a choice; the awful
thing: you always have the risk of making the
wrong one. In the name of optimism, let’s
focus on the positive with this situation. My
sensational mother has spent my life drilling
one message into my head: you’re never stuck.
It’s a total drag to spend a significant amount
of your time doing something you hate, but
you always have an option. All you need to
do here is figure out what is doable for you at
Take a breath and pinpoint what exactly
you’re not liking about your role. Is it
something as simple as working on the
wrong unit? Is it the hands-on aspect, and
do you have the option of transitioning
to an administrative role? Do you need
to completely start over? Your first step
is to identify the issue at hand, and your
REVEAL | Q3 2017
Christina is an Ohio native who moved to Atlanta
five years ago to pursue a career in Corporate
America and expand the culture and diversity in
her life. Since arriving, she has worked for three
major corporations in the Metro Atlanta area.
Having a passion for women uniting and uplifting
one another, Christina was hooked on the idea
of Atlanta Social Club the moment she heard of
it, quickly becoming one of its earlier members.
Christina’s main goal is to gain as much life
knowledge as possible via her own experiences
or stories from others, and use that knowledge
to empower the women of Atlanta. Christina is a
Brand Ambassador for ASC and enjoys networking
and meeting new people. Connect with her via
Facebook (Christina Starr), Instagram (@cthestarr),
or at Christina.Starr12@gmail.com .