When the Story Changes
In a matter of days Chelsea ’ s life turned upside down . Here , she shares her story and some of the lessons she ’ s learnt that hold true in the dark .
If you had asked me a few years ago , “ What ’ s your story ? How did you get here ?” I would have shared a story that seemed to make sense , a story in which each chapter built on the one before . God had led me in progressive steps of faith and I was serving with a Christian organisation supporting remote communities in the Pacific . I was surrounded by an amazing team of people , gathered from all around the world , and each using the gifts that God had given . I had a confidence and peace that I was in the right place .
Then my story changed .
I was overseas when it became hard to focus my eyes . Simple enough , I thought , and I planned to have my glasses checked once I returned home . A few days later , my colleague , a doctor , said to me with care , “ I don ’ t think you need to see an optometrist . I think you need to see a neurologist .”
I flew home shortly after , and by the end of the following week my eyelids were so weak that I could barely open my eyes at all . I could only see my feet and a small , fading circle around them .
I moved around my house with my hands on the walls and furniture . Outside , I walked a step behind a friend and I froze still the instant I lost sight of her heels , suddenly unaware of where I was within the darkness . It was entirely disorientating .
I clearly remember the confusion of such a sudden , shocking change . Like it was bright daylight and then , without warning , night had fallen . What just happened ?
As I paused at the entrance of the first of many clinics , a friend ’ s simple text arrived : You are not alone .
For the next two years , my story seemed to change continually . I would become used to one situation – a new medication , a new symptom , a new side effect , new care needs – and then it would change again . There were times when I struggled to see , speak , walk or even breathe , as my muscles lost their strength . Initially just my eyelids and then my whole body . I broke bones simply by putting on a jumper and bending to sit on a chair .
There were moments when the pain or fear or exhaustion was overwhelming and almost impossible to see beyond . Like walking suddenly into the dark , without any context of my surroundings . But even then , whether or not it was in my conscious awareness , my friend ’ s words were true . I was not alone .
More recently , life has changed again . My health and function has improved and I am thankful for every step towards greater independence .
There are many things I ’ ve learnt over this time . Like how to score a single room in hospital , and what not to say to someone experiencing health challenges (“ What did you do to yourself ?” as if I had control over the situation !), and others that I reflect on more deeply . Here are a few :
Keep coming back to the basics
In the midst of all the change and uncertainty , it was not the time for details . I chose to keep returning to foundational truths , like anchors in the waves . God is here , with me . He is faithful . His plans and purposes are good .
Rend Collective sings the line , “ What ’ s true in the light is still true in the dark ”. The things which hold true in the dark – those are the things worth holding onto . resonate · issue 36 · page 9