We have a vision to see people meet Jesus … but how will we see this vision become a reality ? Dave , South East Asia Team Leader , believes that despite their challenges , authentic relationships are key to answering that question .
Relationships are messy . Crosscultural relationships are definitely messy . However , time and time again Caz and I have witnessed that it is within the context of relationships … messy , long-term , authentic relationships … that people are most open to conversations about Jesus . Our context for the past 20 years has been among the B . I and S . I people of South East Asia , however , I would be very surprised if the story was different in your context . We have been created to be in relationship with God and others .
Reflecting on our ministry , three key principles of building authentic relationships have been to enter our friends ’ worlds , listen to them and listen to God .
Enter Their World
Entering the world of another person is key to building an authentic relationship . This takes time , commitment and humility . When we first enter the world of another person or community , it can seem as if we are banging up against a ‘ wall of noise ’. We can ’ t seem to understand them , and they can ’ t understand us – there is just noise between us .
This noise is amplified if we come from radically different cultures and languages . Breaking through the wall is confronting . It is humbling to struggle to understand and it can make us feel foolish . However , as others watch us persevere and struggle they see that we really care , and this opens the doorway to deepening relationships .
Honour and respect are key concepts in the Bible . God created us to live with honour and respect , and to treat others this way . One way we can do this is by participating in the world of another to the greatest extent we can without violating the values of God ’ s Kingdom .
As we participate in the lives of others – sharing hospitality , seeking to understand them , seeking to bless them - we demonstrate honour and respect which comes from an attitude of humility . The opposite of this is to bring shame which comes out of a posture of pride – reflected by an attitude that says , ‘ I have all the answers , and you need to listen to me ’.
Listen to the Other
Listening respectfully to others allows us to enter their world and to develop authentic relationships . In South East Asia , we have witnessed many westerners enter the culture with an attitude of superiority and arrogance . They demonstrate this by the way they treat others and their expectation that others should listen to them … and in English ! This kind of attitude does not lead to authentic relationships .
Caz listened one day to a woman who described an accident which she attributed to malevolent spirits . Many westerners respond to stories like that with an attitude of superiority and discount these kinds of beliefs . This leaves the person telling the story feeling belittled and shamed . As a result , those who hold these beliefs learn not to speak to westerners about them . Caz , however , listened with respect and humility . This led to a deeper relationship and understanding of the worldview of this woman and grew further opportunities to discuss many matters related to spiritual truth .
Over time this woman came to trust in Jesus and is now influencing others in her extended family and community with the Good News of the Kingdom . As we develop authentic relationships based on respect and care we build bridges that are strong enough to bear the weight of spiritual truth .
Listen to God
We also listen to God . Each day we ask the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us , and help us to be sensitive to those around us and to where God is already at work .
Jesus appointed twelve , designating them Apostles that they might be with Him and that He might send them out . ( Mark 3:14 ) We have been sent out with the message of the Kingdom , like the Apostles . Like them , we must first spend lots of time with Jesus , listening to Him . As we listen and surrender our hearts to the Living One , He will give us sensitivity and spiritual power to share the Good News of the Kingdom to others . In this way , we help people respond to the message of the Kingdom , to remain in their context , and to change their hearts and lives rather than their clothes . They in turn are motivated to build authentic relationships out of which they also share the Good News of the eternal Kingdom .
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Yes , relationships are complicated . However , despite this , I have seen trust grow , people begin to explore Jesus and then choose to follow Him . It ’ s in those moments that I know without a doubt , that I am called , not to transform hearts ( that ’ s God ’ s job ) but to love Him and love others .
resonate · issue 34 · page 4