Baptist Churches of South Australia team member, Tabor College lecturer and top-shelf preacher
Melinda Cousins gives a challenging take on what hospitality really looks like.
A
few years ago I had a disagreement with a politician
about words. He was using a phrase that was
understood in the popular media as a kind of ‘slogan’
with a particular emphasis. I made an assumption about what
he meant by using this phrase; he assured me that he had a
more nuanced perspective to communicate. The key to our
disagreement was that he then said it was my responsibility to
understand what he intended to communicate and it was my
problem if I didn’t get what he meant. Conversely, I suggested
that it was his responsibility to understand how I would hear
what he was saying and to use words to ensure that I would
receive his intention. In the end we had to agree to disagree
but it is a conversation I have often thought about since.
Does the onus lie on the speaker or the hearer to make
sure communication is clearly understood?
And what does that have to do with hospitality?
Missiology 101 tells me that as someone who has a good
message to proclaim, the onus is on me to make sure that my
words are being heard and understood by those I am seeking
to communicate with, rather than expecting or assuming that
they will know what I intend. We call it ‘contextualisation’. To
me, this is a form of hospitality. I invite someone into the
conversation in a way that is welcoming when I focus not
so much on what I want to say but on what they will hear.
I think hospitality is often misunderstood. The mental
picture many people have is of inviting someone into their
home. However, there is an important caveat. In many ways,
our home is our ‘turf’. It is the place where we feel most
comfortable and where we do things our way. If we invite
someone in to that but expect and assume that they will
‘fit in’ with us, are we truly being welcoming?
Or is hospitality about making the other person feel
comfortable, choosing to accommodate ourselves to their
way of doing things and making sure they feel at home?
True hospitality is the attitude of making someone else
feel at home rather than simply being in our home.
What would it look like to live that kind of hospitality in
speech and in action?
My church has recently started partnering with a Christian
community who speak a different language to us, many of
whom are refugees and have left everything they have known
behind. I see joy in their eyes as they come into a place where
they can speak their own language, eat food that is familiar
to them and feel comfortable knowing that they understand
what is expected of them. I imagine that in nearly every other
aspect of their lives this is not the case. Everywhere they go
they are expected to fit in with us, speak like us, do things our
way. And yes, that is part of the process of learning to live in
a new culture. But, what if, instead of the church being just
one more place where they as outsiders are expected to find
ways to fit in, we as followers of Jesus chose to be the ones
who learned their language, ate their food, did things their
way? What if we went out of our way to be the ones who
were uncomfortable so that they might feel at home?
That’s a challenge. That’s what is difficult. That’s the kind of
hospitality that is costly as we sacrifice our own comfort and
ease for the sake of the other. That’s the kind of hospitality of
a church whose early leaders chose to become like outsiders
in order to share their hope with those on the outside. That’s
the kind of hospitality of a church whose head is a God
who condescended to become a human being in order to
demonstrate His great love for humanity.
For more of Melinda’s works, subscribe to
www.melindacousins.com.
resonate · issue 29 · page 14