ReSolution Issue 21, June 2019 | Page 27

Conversely look at the teams within the work place who never quite seem to gel; there is a higher than normal attrition rate and you hear murmurings about that team leader being difficult to deal with.
So where do you want to be in your communication? Let’s add to what you already know by asking others how they see you! To establish this, it is helpful to get feedback from others whom you trust. This could be colleagues, bosses, external clients or stakeholders. Simply ask them their experience of your communication style. If that feels too difficult or imposing, try family/ friends or contact me for a simple test to discover where your skills lie. Another technique is to start today to notice other’s body language when you are communicating with them. Recent statistics show, that in any face to face communication, people place 55% importance on body language, 38% on tone of voice and only 7% on the actual words used. Think about that! Be aware that telephone communication is different again, and the rating becomes 82% on tone of voice and only 18% on the actual words used. Astonishing really, when you consider that most of us do not take much notice of others body language! So what should you look for when reading body language?
Body language – is the person turned towards or away from you? This could denote disinterest – no matter what words they may be saying to contradict that.
Voice quality – is there tone of voice abrupt and clipped or considerate and engaging? This shows they are prepared to make the time and want to invest in this discussion with you. Intention – Are you picking up on good/focused intent or rushed annoyance? This indicates they are too stressed/unwilling to make the situation work – they are leaving it to you. Manner – is there a directness/sincerity to this or is it more dictatorial/uncompromising? This can show intolerance for any more time spent on this discussion or task.
Eye contact – Do they look away from you/avoid looking at you much, or is there direct eye contact? This can show a willingness to have the best outcome possible with clarity/respect. Setting – Is this the most inconvenient time/place to do this? Or is the timing and setting appropriate. This can denote commitment and consideration for both you and the project. Sensitivity – Is this being handled with kindness appropriate to the situation? Or is this just another ‘thing’ that needs to be completed within a certain time frame? If left unchecked, this can lead to the attrition rate being added to.
Attitude – Are you picking up on a genuine willingness and healthy respect for your contribution to this? Or is the opposite true? This indicates difficulty/hard work ahead. Rapport – Do you notice there is no interest in building/maintaining a relationship with you? Or that this person takes time to share stories, laugh and discuss other things with you? This shows a healthy/useful working relationship ahead, with lots of value being placed on you!
These are very general guidelines but may show you some things you had seen but not taken on board previously. The key message through this writing is to hold a mirror up to yourself and see just what impact you may be having on others around you. By all means observe other people, but start to notice in yourself when your body language changes and decide to change it for the better. Notice the difference around you when you do. People react to everything whether it is positive or negative. You will begin to get more positive responses from people as you ‘lift your game’ and be more effective at communicating. Will you always get it right? Will you think you finally have it all conquered? Probably not, but at least you can begin to start thinking more about your impact on others and how they may ‘feel’ after communicating with you.
Keep in mind, ‘People sometimes remember what they said to you - but they always remember what you said to them!’

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gloria Masters
Communication Specialist

For the appointment of Gloria Masters
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +64 9 486 71 53