did not want the conflict that so often comes with “the ex.” My husband
assured me that he and his ex-wife,
the mother of his children, had a
good relationship and had agreed to
good co-parenting. I trusted him and
took a chance. It was a learning experience for all of us. I didn’t assume
she would accept me or even trust
me with her children, and he was still
learning how to not try to control
HER life, too.
families should come together.
RW: How do you work through interfamily conflict?
We really are a happily blended family, who respects each other. She and
I often joked that we needed to be on
Oprah to show the world that it CAN
be done. People often were amazed
to find us laughing together and then
find out we were “the wife” and “the
ex” enjoying each other’s company or
working together on a church project. We found it funny that they were
amazed. It’s the way it SHOULD be!
Mary Ellen: The one thing we all
agreed to was that the children’s
needs would always come first. We
agreed to not let ego, pride or jealousy ever drive our decisions as parents.
Their Mother made decision when
they were at her home; we made decisions when they were in our home;
but we agreed to always keeps their
best interest at the forefront. If she
needed support on an issue, my husband would give input, and I could
give input, too. I became the sounding board, the neutral party.
RW: Holidays and special ocassions
must be a challenge. How do the two
families deal them?
Mary Ellen: As time went on, we
agreed to share all major holidays
together, so the children would not
have to be separated at a time when
With that decision, it helped the two
moms bond and learn to respect
where each one came from. We have
since become close, even enjoying
evenings out together, shared many
bottles of wine, and share many of
the same friends. We attended the
same church for several years, so the
children could have one church home
and not have to choose.
Rules & Discipline
RW: I know your children are all adults
now, but when they were younger,
how did you handle discip [