REGINA: Right, so he wanted a running partner and you wanted an eating partner. Anything in common?
CYNTHIA: What we did know is that we both wanted a chaste courtship. We didn’t want to do anything that would dishonor our faith and our bodies. We wanted to do things the proper way so that God would bless our courtship and discernment process.
REGINA: And after eight months of marriage?
JOE: We continue to pursue the goals of a sacramental marriage and try to diminish worldly expectations. I look at the challenges as an opportunity to build virtue and spiritual toughness.
CYNTHIA: Since we’ve been married, we have fallen deeper in love and our love is becoming more genuine. That’s right. Infatuation is not love and true loves take time. That’s not to say every day is amazing! However, we constantly remind ourselves that we are together to help each other to heaven, which prevents us from being mad with each other for very long. After all, he hasn’t been banished to the couch yet.
REGINA: Well, that’s a good thing.
CYNTHIA: Seriously, we receive many graces for focusing on having a sacramental marriage. We both see the stark difference between this marriage and our previous marriages.
REGINA: Stark difference? How so?
JOE: I was so poorly formed in the faith that I bought into a lot of the modern ideas, such as the 50-50 thing and you can do whatever you want and God will always take care of you and work things out. I was totally ignorant of my proper role as a man. I was never able to establish any position of moral authority or leadership and I ended up in a very emasculated situation.
During our courtship and engagement, Cynthia made it clear that although she was a go-getter, she wanted to be a traditional wife. She is always asking me to let her know where she could improve. It’s good to have clear roles. We don’t have to fight over whose turn it is to wash the dishes. I feel like I’ve grown more into my manhood since we’ve been married.
CYNTHIA: Well, for one thing, my previous husband and I weren’t chaste before we got married, although he was my first. The marriage was 50/50 when it came to household chores, but I pretty much brought home the bacon. It is good to be married to a provider.
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