CYNTHIA: Our Lady of Fatima says more souls go to hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason. Marriage is the norm for most people, though some are called to the religious life or the priesthood.
Our current society has created a construct of courtship and marriage which is all about feelings and sexual satisfaction. This unchaste mindset begins in dating and carries into marriage. This is why people divorce because they no longer “love” one another.
REGINA: Yes.
CYNTHIA: We live in a society where there are no incentives for marriage. Men get what they want sexually, without marrying. Women have to essentially audition in bed, in hopes that their boyfriend will eventually marry them.
REGINA: Oh yes.
CYNTHIA: The marriage unit is broken and if the family unit is broken, society is broken. If marriage is the norm and most people are called to marriage, we owe it to ourselves to set ourselves up for success and this involves having a chaste mindset and approach. Chastity involves self-denial. Self-denial will not only help us in our discernment process when we choose a spouse, but will greatly increase our chances of getting to heaven.
REGINA: So, you would recommend a chaste courtship?
CYNTHIA: We had a chaste courtship and boy was it worth the wait! So let’s keep our courtships and marriages chaste!
REGINA: You have left NYC for suburban Detroit and a completely new way of life.
CYNTHIA: Leaving my family behind, was hard. Leaving my identity as a “Brooklynite” was hard. There was a study that showed New Yorkers who live in Brooklyn are the most proud of their borough out of all the NYC boroughs.
I moved to get married and marriage involves all sorts of sacrifices. A priest once said that during a a Greek Orthodox marriage ceremony, the couple kisses a cross. The cross is meant to represent suffering. When we get married, we actually embrace our crosses!
There are many opportunities for suffering and sacrifice in marriage. Leaving my grown children behind and moving to Detroit is a sacrifice, just like I’m sure marrying someone who doesn’t have Midwestern values is also a sacrifice. However, if we embrace our crosses, we soon realize that “his yoke is easy and his burden is light”. (Matthew 11:30).
Cynthia Burley blogs at https://beautysoancient.com
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